


Sweet Dreams

by PitsOfDisclaire



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Arnaba is adorable as always, Gay, M/M, but people are gay and happy too!, its not angst, lol help these boys, mcpriceley, people are just gay and sad, poor con is sad, poor kevin is sad, there might be smut? but idk, theres gonna be 7 chapteres and theyre kinda long woooops, theres none planned yet but its a possibility, unless its a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14146377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitsOfDisclaire/pseuds/PitsOfDisclaire
Summary: Over the course of one week, Connor discovers that he sees Kevin in a different light to the other Elders. As he falls for Kevin he discovers things about him that even his closest friends didn't know. Connor finds that he is drawn to this lost and lonely boy and no matter how hard he tries he just can't seem to get away.“I hope you sleep well, Elder.” he turned to face the missionary, taking a deep breath. “Dreams aren't real, no matter how much they hurt,”





	1. Monday

It was quiet around the hut before Kevin Price and Arnold Cunningham arrived. The elders got on with their work, lazily marching door to door -or rather hut to hut, dragging their feet behind them on the way home after another unsuccessful day. 3 months practically wasted. Connor stared at the chalkboard that had displayed the number of baptisms they had, it was a sore sight for everyone, especially Kevin when he first arrived. His face scrunched up when Connor had told him about their lack of success. He had thrown his head back and sighed, eyes closed. As Kevin stood he ran a hand through his hair, Connor couldn't even pay attention to what he was saying, which became evident when he was silly enough to believe that Kevin Price, the Mormon poster boy was actually gay. Was it selfish or was it just hopeful? Either way… it was wrong. Missionaries aren't even allowed romantic relationships anyway, though Super Mormon and Village Sweetheart broke that rule pretty quickly. But another _elder?_ That was definitely not allowed. At the same time, Connor was technically in charge so maybe a few rules (and elders) could be bent a little, _just a little._

It was 2 am on a Monday night, everyone had gone to bed. He envied them. He stood there in his temple garments gazing at their pitiful progress. Despite the rules becoming less strict, he insisted that he still wore his undergarments as did many other elders. His eyes wandered around the dusty chalkboard like they did almost every night. The bunch of zeros hurt, but not as much as the sudden spike in baptisms did. He should be happy, finally, he was free to live life the way he wanted. Nothing says freedom like being disowned and hated by his own parents. He groaned, kicking the bookshelf under the chalkboard. With a harsh thud, he howled out in pain, cursing and hopping around as he did. “GOSH _FUCK!_ ” he cried, internally cursing himself for not realising he wasn't wearing his shoes. There was a snicker behind him and on one foot he bounced around to meet eyes with Kevin. Speak of the devil, he thought to himself. Literally. There was another laugh from Kevin who had a loose tank top draped over his golden and perfectly carved shoulders, he almost swooned. His eyes travelled down and he found that Kevin was in his boxer shorts, then Connor really did swoon- almost. He fell onto the floor with a high pitched yelp and Kevin rushed over to help him, still giggling to himself a little.

“God McKinley,” Kevin shook his head as he wrapped a hand around Connor’s freckled forearm, his other hand held onto Connor's hand tightly, he really did think he was about to faint. “You really have to be more careful,” He spoke softly, it was endearing. He helped him over to the couch and Connor insisted he didn't need Kevin’s help yet he still made a mental note to bask in his attention whenever he could because _gosh this was amazing,_ even despite the sharp pain in his toe. Kevin plopped Connor gently down onto the couch, letting his hands linger on his district leader for a little longer than he should have because Connor was almost certain his heart was about to burst out of his chest. “What are you doing up so late anyway?” the brunette asked, sitting down beside the blushing mess that was Connor McKinley.

“Oh well, you know…” He started, realising that Kevin really didn't actually know, not exactly anyway. He turned his gaze to Kevin’s shoulders and shrugged. “It's too hot- to sleep. I can't sleep because it's too hot…” he looked up at Kevin, who had a questioning look on his face. Connor faced forward, only glancing at the other missionary out of the corner of his eye. “What about you? Shouldn't the renown Kevin Price be getting his beauty sleep?” and Kevin was thankful that Connor hadn't been able to see him blush.

“W-well,” He swallowed nervously. “I had… way too much coffee earlier and I heard that you-or someone was awake,” He let out a nervous giggle, causing the district leader to face his elder. Kevin had a strange sort of smile plastered on his face, like the kind of smile you'd see in a cartoon when someone is blushing. He had a wobbly grin and even with the perfect tan he had, the blush in his cheeks was as red and bright as the sunset. Connor swallowed dryly, certain he had a similar blush to Kevin’s. They were sitting too close to each other, hips and shoulders brushing off each other a little. And Connor felt Kevin’s eyes flicker down to his lips. No, this was wrong...so very wrong.

Connor shot up, wobbling and wincing only slightly. “I think we should probably try and sleep, Elder,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “Afterall we do have lots of work to do,” Kevin opened his mouth to argue, but Connor was already making his way back to his room. He stood in the doorway. “I hope you sleep well, Elder.” he turned to face the missionary, taking a deep breath. “Dreams aren't real, no matter how much they hurt,” his voice curt and quiet, he walked out. A question ached in the back of his head, ‘What if I had stayed?’

 

* * *

 

 

Connor woke up with a muffled gasp that morning, his face buried in his pillow. He must have been gripping the sheets in his sleep, as it was clear they had been tugged and yanked it. But he didn't remember having a hell dream after he left Kevin. He sat up so he was on his knees, there was a patch of drool on his pillow, after moving ever so slightly he realised that he _definitely_ didn't have a hell dream last night. He glanced at his still sleeping companion, gosh knows that if Poptarts heard anything Connor had possibly said or done while asleep he'd never hear the end of it. He flung his legs over the edge of his bed and ran out of the room, making a beeline for the bathroom. However, on his way, he ran smack into something- someone. He lost his balance and fell backwards only to be caught by none other than Kevin Price, who was looking down at him with a smug grin.

“McKinley! You really need to be more careful. You seem to be really clumsy lately,” he let out a brisk laugh. Connor just blushed and nodded. “What's gotten into you?” Kevin smiled and Connor melted, almost forgetting why he was on his way to the bathroom in the first place. His eyes widened and he wriggled out of Kevin’s arms, scrambling up. “Oh..heh, you know me, Elder,” Kevin quirked an eyebrow at Connor, who was shifting awkwardly trying to drag any attention elsewhere, or at least just not there.

He cleared his throat. Thoughts of Kevin buzzed in his head yet his mind went blank. He seemed to be saying something, Connor wasn't listening, only watching. The moment he saw Kevin glance down he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He exhaled, staring into the mirror before stripping down and getting into a cold, _cold_ shower. As the water rushed down the drain, he let thoughts of his fellow missionary wash down too. Or at least he tried to.

But some things just can't be turned off forever.

* * *

 

The rest of the day continued like every other. Work and rest, that seemed to be it. At first, the change was exciting, but it always felt like Connor was missing something. Maybe Kevin and Arnold didn't exactly realise or consider this, but the others were still Mormons, they still wanted to complete their missions. Connor sat on the front doorstep, taking a little break for the day. He sighed. Was he being greedy? They were actually helping people now, far more than before. Okay, maybe they weren't converting anyone anytime soon but at least the people were happy. Connor shook off the pang of envy he felt, it was pathetic. He spent his whole life training for his mission and well it certainly was far from disappointing or underwhelming but-

His train of thought was cut off by some singing he could hear coming around the bend. The voices were loud and he counted three. One was sweet and chirpy, it was the only feminine one and it clearly belonged to Nabulungi- he could recognise her voice anywhere. The second was the loudest, it was out of key but in its own way it was nice to listen to- it brought a smile to Connor’s face. It was definitely Arnold. The last voice surprised Connor, he knew that it was bound to be Kevin, but he never knew how smooth his voice sounded. There was, of course, the odd occasion where Connor heard Kevin singing in the shower (as did everyone else) or humming along as he worked, but this was new. Connor’s mind was instantly to sent to a place where he and Kevin sat together, their legs tangled together and his bright blue eyes gazing lovingly into his dark brown ones. Kevin would sing softly to Connor as he ran a hand through his ginger curls. That image elicited a sigh from the district leader, who snapped back from reality when he noticed Arnold yelling up at him.

“HI MCKINLEY!” Arnold waved a massive grin on his face and Naba’s arm around his shoulder. Connor politely waved back. “Good afternoon, Arn,” he smiled at Naba. “Hey, Nabs…Elder,” his smile quivered slightly when he made eye contact with Kevin. Gosh, he really was pathetic, he couldn't even bring himself to say Kevin’s name. “So what are you guys up to?” He asked, staying seated in the shade of the mission hut.

“Me and Arnie are going back to my house! But Elder Rich Kid here practically begged us to walk him home!” Naba giggled, punching Kevin’s arm lightly.

“Hey!” Kevin put his hands on his hips all ‘matter-of-factly’ and Connor felt his entire body heat up. “That is not true!” on the not his voice cracked and squeaked, it was a little tell he had. Kevin Price was an awful liar but gosh was he an adorable one. He crossed his arms and Connor couldn't help notice how tense they were, _no don't think about that._ “I just thought that we could have walked home together. I mean it's just easier because the hut was on the way,”

“Except we were already at my house dummy!” Naba exclaimed. But Connor noticed Arnold whisper something in her ear and she nodded. Kevin must've heard too because for brief moment Connor spotted sadness in his embarrassed flush. Whatever Arnold said to Naba had stopped her teasing. Carefully she rubbed Kevin’s shoulder. “I'm only messing, me and Arnie wanted to go on a walk and we met this buffoon on the way,” it was a blatant lie but it made Kevin smile a little. “-Anyway!” Arnold cut in. “We should probably go now before Mafala kills us. SEE YA MCKINLEY! SEE YA BEST FRIEND!” he yelled, skipping down the road with Naba, their fingers intertwined.

Connor watched them go, he even giggled to himself a little. The sun cast a golden glow on the world around them. Everything seemed to sparkle when the couple laughed at each other. He watched them as they disappeared around another bend, bringing his knees to his chest he sighed a little sadly. Though in the sun it was hot, the shade was cold and damp. Goosebumps and freckles dotted his arms and he held himself tightly in an attempt to combat the chilly warmth. He hadn't noticed Kevin walk over to him. _No, you idiot he's walking towards the door._ What he did notice however was how Kevin’s stride turned to a stroll when walking past Connor. He almost came to a stop, but decided against it. He was almost in through the door when Connor spoke.

“I didn't know you sang, Rich Kid,” he didn't turn around to face Kevin, he didn't need to. But he felt Kevin’s eyes on his back.

“Oh. Well, I used to be in the church’s choir for a bit, actually. In school, we sometimes did plays or musicals or whatever. I liked doing those,”

Connor risked a glance over his shoulder. “Such as…?”

“Well you know the usual, Romeo and Juliet, Nativity plays… once my school did Mary Poppins actually,” he turned and sat down beside Connor. “I of course was Bert,”

“Oh really I was expecting you to be Mary Poppins, or perhaps Jane,” Connor snickered and Kevin elbowed him gently.

“Shut up, you know what I meant -I was being sarcastic by the way..I uh, I'm not like that..”

“Don't worry, Elder,” He reassured. “I know you're not. So, step in time. Lots of dancing right?”

Kevin laughed and Connor realised that it was a sight he enjoyed. He liked the way Kevin bent over, hanging his head in the palm of his hands. “God, don't remind me. I was such a shit dancer,”

“Aww, don't worry,” He placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “You still are,”

The two of them chuckled and shook their heads, Connor let his eyes linger on Kevin, who squeezed his eyes shut as he laughed and dimples appeared when he smiled. Maybe Kevin was right, how wrong can it be if no one knows?

Kevin was looking back at Connor. There was something in his eyes that he'd never seen before. It was as if Kevin was studying Connor, his eyebrows were raised slightly, his lips in a slight pout -almost confused. But it wasn't confusion. He looked almost determined, or certain. At the same time, however, he looked out of place and lost. Kevin’s lips parting woke Connor from his daze and he stood up. “Well, I think it's about time we started heading inside for dinner. Don't you?” Reluctantly, Kevin nodded. In a polite gesture _and nothing more,_ Connor held out a hand for Kevin and beamed down at him. He hesitated, but when he took Connor’s hand and pulled himself up he avoided eye contact, only muttering a small word of gratitude and nodding. The atmosphere had changed and Connor didn't like it. What was seconds ago bright and sunny was now tense and cold. It sent shivers down the district leader’s spine.

Kevin stood a few inches taller than Connor. It wasn't much, but at _this_ distance, it felt like he towered over him. He could feel Kevin’s shaky puff of breath on the tip of his nose. He looked up into Kevin’s eyes and though they were looking elsewhere he still got a good view of the specks of light that dotted the dark brown of his eyes. A dark mocha colour melted into a soft amber, like a gem of sorts. His iris stood out against the white of his eyes, making them both brighter and darker at the same time. Connor would give anything to just dive right into the flustered boy’s eyes.

Their hands were still touching, when Kevin noticed he gasped lightly. Connor was the first to pull away, yanking his hand back and making his way around Kevin and into the hut. Kevin didn't come in straight after Connor. He didn't mind too much. Flattening out the wrinkles in his shirt he made his way to his room. He nodded and smiled at the Elders he passed. His heart was pounding and his head was spinning. _What was wrong with him?_ He had never felt like this before. Not when their district got shut down, not when he danced for the first time, not when he fell for Steve. This was all so new and terrifying, but part of him wasn't sure whether or not he wanted the feeling to leave.

It hurt him. It hurt him a lot, but in the _best_ kind of way.

 


	2. Tuesday

It was Tuesday morning at about 3 am when Connor woke from his numb slumber. There were no hell dreams nor were there dreams about specific Elders. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he had slept at all. He attempted to figure out when exactly he drifted off to sleep. His companion fell asleep at 11 pm, leaving Connor alone with his thoughts. His mind wandered off to visions of a certain elder with bouncy brown hair and warm eyes. Sharp cheekbones and a jawline that could cut through anything. He reminded Connor of a Greek statue -perfectly carved in every perfect way.

The soft knocking on his bedroom door was what had awoken him. It got louder and he sat up. His half-awake brain had blurred the lines between reality and fiction, making it almost impossible for Connor to figure out whether or not the knocking was real or if he was stuck in some hyper-realistic nightmare. The knocking stopped as soon as his curiosity had peaked. Slowly, he rose. Swinging his legs over the edge of his bed he studied the old door and the faint shadow underneath. He got up and walked over at a steady pace. He opened the door only slightly, just to see who was there.

“Kev- Elder Price?” Connor asked in a shaky whisper. “What are you doing here?”

Kevin looked down at Connor, his eyes seemed wide with fear and panic. He noticed how quickly Kevin’s chest moved -Up and down with no steady rhythm, he was holding back his breaths. His eyes darted to and from Connor. From looking down at Connor with fear he glanced down at his hands with worry. “I-I…” he stuttered a little, his voice halfway between whisper and speak. “I can't sleep,”  
Connor nodded and opened the door. He joined Kevin in the hall, closing the door softly as to not wake his still sleeping companion.

“Did you have a bad dream, Elder?” Connor put a shy hand on Kevin’s shoulder, he wore a soft yellow t-shirt he had found at the market, accompanied by blue plaid boxer shorts. Connor could feel the tips of his ears and cheeks turn pink. He himself still wore his temple garments. Kevin shook his head. “No. That's the problem. I guess I haven't been able to sleep at all,” his voice was frail and choked as if the confident and proud person that was Kevin Price was being held back.

“Why not?” Connor gave him a quizzical look. “Have you been drinking too much coffee again? I told you no more coffee after dinner-”

“No! No, just stop talking.” Kevin interrupted his hands in tense fists. It wasn't a quite a yell, but still, Connor was worried that it would wake the other Elders. “S-sorry,” he breathed, looking down at Connor shyly. “Just promise you won't laugh or tell anyone?” Kevin begged Connor with his eyes, and he was certain that the brunette was close to letting out a small whine. Connor nodded. “Of course I won't laugh Elder, your secret is safe with me,” And Connor made a motion of zipping his mouth shut.

It took Kevin a few seconds to answer. He hesitated about twice, his eyes darting around the empty hall. It was as if he were interrogating himself inside his own head. He closed his eyes and spoke slowly. “I can't sleep, b-because Arnold isn't here… I don't like being alone,”

Connor stared up at Kevin, taken aback. He could see him mouthing the phrase _‘Please don't tell anyone,’_ and Connor nodded. It was peculiar seeing the perhaps most confident and strongest Elder being scared by the simplest of things. He rubbed up and down Kevin’s arm, in a small attempt of comfort. “It's okay Elder. I won't tell anyone, but does Arnold know?” he asked softly. Kevin nodded in response. “-But I told him that I'd be okay,” he added. It made sense, or at least it made a little sense. With what Naba had said earlier and how Kevin and Arnold reacted, it was clear that there was something going on behind that Mormon’s sun-kissed face.

Connor chewed his lip. “how about, I'll fix you up a nice warm cup of milky cocoa and I’ll spend the night in your room?” Connor was well aware of the risk he was taking, but a good district leader put his Elders before himself and he was chosen for a reason. He smiled gently up at Kevin, who had relief written all over him. His eyes were lit up a little, and his breathing was beginning to regulate once again. He pulled Connor in for a quick hug, burying his face in the crook of Connor’s neck. He was ready to die right then and there. Kevin whispered a thank you as he pushed Connor away. They stood in a timid silence for a bit, until Kevin nodded and made his way back to his room.

Moments later Connor was opening the door and stepping into Kevin and Arnold’s room. Though it was the same size, had the same grimy white walls and creaky wooden floor as the rest of the bedrooms, it was somehow another world to Connor. On what was clearly Arnold’s side, posters from Gosh knows where lined the wall. The pair must've found decorations and such at the market, as on the floor was a small yellow rug. Various socks, ties and shoes were scattered across the ground, and Connor had to mind his step as he brought the mug of cocoa over to the bedside locker. The locker was adorned with trinkets and oddities of all sorts- scraps from the book of Arnold, gifts from villagers, a bright yellow diary and of course, a framed photo of the infamous duo. Kevin sat on the edge of his bed. He looked out of place among the mess. “Thank you,” he whispered as Connor set the mug down among the rubbish on his bedside locker.

Connor sat on the bed opposite to Kevin. The springs popped and squeaked as he tried to find a bearable position on the scratchy mattress. The smell was putrid and Connor’s curiosity dimmed- he really didn't want to find out what it was. He pulled the covers over his freckled legs and lay down. “Do you want to talk Elder? Or do you just want me to be here with you?”

Kevin took a long sip of his drink. He tapped his fingers off the stained rim of the cup and he stared off into it. Connor could see the answer to his questions dancing on his lips. “I'm okay, McKinley,” But Kevin clearly wasn't, he was hesitant in answering, in putting his cup down and in looking over at Connor. His body was still shaking slightly as if a faint shiver was running through his bones and shaking him to his core. “U-usually” Kevin started, looking down at his hands and fingers that weaved in and out of each other. He cleared his throat. “Usually, if this happens… Arnold is here,”

“But I thought you said this happened because Arnold wasn't here,” Connor sat up looking over at the… was Kevin crying a little? He sat up and got out of bed, walking over to Kevin. “Sweetheart…” he whispered, kneeling down beside him. “What's wrong? You _can_ talk to me you know,”

Kevin opened his mouth to reply, but after no words came out he closed it. It was only after he noticed a small freckled hand squeezing his that he looked over at Connor and spoke. “I didn't have a bad dream if that's what you're thinking,” his voice was low that Connor was struggling to hear him. Kevin sighed. “I just get… bad feelings. It's like a bad dream, but I'm awake. It gets worse when I'm on my own,” His voice was frail and choked and the moonlight perfectly reflected onto the few tears that rolled down his cheeks, making them shine and sparkle.

“Well, what does Arnold normally do?” Connor whispered, his voice was soft compared to Kevin’s which was coarse and strained. He gently rubbed Kevin’s knuckles with his thumb, in a slow circular motion. It seemed to be calming him slightly.

He could see Kevin thinking. When Kevin Price thought long and hard he bit his lip and his eyes flickered back and forth. He kept his head down and everyone would know he had the answer when he raised his head with a smug grin plastered on his face. But if he raised it slowly and had a sour expression on his face, it was clear that he didn't. It was neither of those things this time. This time he kept his head down, chewing his lip. When he answered his voice cracked a little, Connor assumed it was just because of the tears. “We uh...We cuddle,” he swallowed, finally making eye contact with Connor.

The district leader nodded and slowly let go of Kevin’s hand as he stood. He looked down at him, decided which way would be the best way to go about this. He eventually gestured to him to scoot over, to which Kevin obeyed. Carefully Connor lay down beside him. After a while of fumbling and stuttering, they found a position which suited them best. So they found themselves with Connor’s arm wrapped around Kevin, who had his face against his chest. Though Kevin was taller, he curled up against Connor and wiped his tears off Connor’s undergarments. Connor eventually found his hand in the brunette’s hair. It was so soft and messy- it made his heart melt.

They didn't utter another word to each other as they fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms. Neither had any dreams to disturb their sleep. Connor slept peacefully for the first time in a long while and Kevin wasn't trying to sleep through any tears anymore. They were warm and they were safe in each other's arms.

 

* * *

 

8 am, Connor had slept in.

Slowly he yawned, opening his eyes to the fresh morning sun slowly. Through the blinds, beams of golden light shone down onto the sleeping Elders. Blinding bars of sun blocked Connor’s vision, so he rubbed his eyes and squinted at the person lying beside him.

Nestled beside Connor was Kevin Price. Their positions had switched since they had fallen asleep. Now Kevin had his arms around Connor, a hand sleepily twirled the end of Connor’s ginger hair between its fingers and he feared that if he moved it'd stop. He had to look up at Kevin a little, he looked so peaceful. His mouth was slightly open, allowing a line of drool slip out onto the pillow. It was a little gross, but extremely endearing. Shifting slightly, he noticed that their legs were tangled together, Kevin’s tanned and toned legs against Connor’s pale and freckled ones.

He should’ve felt bad. This was wrong, was it not? Nothing that was necessarily romantic or intimate had happened between them -he was just helping a friend. But he'd be lying if he had said that he didn't think of Kevin in those ways. He wanted this to mean something. He needed it to.

“BREAKFAST KEVIN!”

Connor gasped as the door flung open. Arnold had marched up to his bedroom to go to his companion. Connor was starting to regret everything. Arnold stopped in the doorway and Connor tried sitting up but was stopped by Kevin’s arms which were still wrapped around him. He whined as Connor tried to move them away, still fast asleep.

“...and McKinley?” Arnold said, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Oh...uh, Elder Cunningham! Uh weren't you at Naba’s?”

Of course, _because just, of course,_ Naba walked in then. “WAKE UP PRETTY BOY!” she yelled and stopped. “oh... WAKE UP PRETTY BOYS,”

Kevin finally woke up. “Mornin’ McKinley…” he mumbled, pulling Connor closer. He froze, as did everyone else in the room. “AH!” he yelped, sitting up and pushing Connor away.

Connor fell to the floor with a loud thud.

“KEVIN PRICE! THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR FUCK BUDDY!” Naba scolded, giggling and putting her hands on her hips.

Arnold snickered, moving over to help Connor up, who was quick to deny everything. “We didn't- I'm not. We’re not...Nothing happened,”

Kevin just looked around the room like a scared little puppy.

“Kevin when you said to ‘eff’ the rules I didn't think you meant it literally,” Arnold said, his mouth wide in a smile.

“But we didn't-” Connor argued.

Naba burst out into laughter, leaning up against the doorframe. Kevin puffed his cheeks and burst into giggles himself, his face a very bright shade of red.

Everyone but Connor was laughing. But he did smile a little. Maybe because he woke up with Kevin’s arms around him or maybe because the sound of the trio’s laughter was infectious. His smile soon turned into a flustered giggle and he made eye contact with Kevin. They smiled at each other at gazed deeply into each other’s eyes as they smiled sheepishly.

There was a knock on the wall next to the doorframe. Naba moved to let a short and blonde Elder pass. The laughter stopped as he spoke.

“Um, is Connor there?” Poptarts asked, beyond confused and maybe even a little scared. He was in his uniform but he had dressed with haste. Perhaps he had been looking for Connor all morning. At that thought, Connor felt a little guilty.

Kevin looked at Arnold and shrugged and Arnold to Naba. All eyes fell on Connor who was only known as “McKinley” to the others. He walked over to his companion. “Sorry, Pops I was just discussing something with the others here. Were you looking for me?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kevin raise an eyebrow, and when Connor put his hand around Poptarts’ shoulders he could've sworn that Kevin had chewed his lip and looked away. They walked out together, Connor and Poptarts, in an aimless conversation. They laughed at each other every now and then, but Connor wasn't listening much, only responding. He couldn't help think of Kevin.

Why did Kevin have his arms wrapped around Connor? Was he protecting him from his nightmares? Or perhaps maybe he just wanted to hold him close to him. They certainly were very close -Connor didn't mind.

Why did Kevin blush? Was he embarrassed by Connor or just of the thought of having sex with him? Was he embarrassed because Arnold and Naba had walked in? It was embarrassing, the idea of them walking In after Connor and Kevin had sex, but it wasn't exactly why Connor was embarrassed.

What was that look he and Connor shared? It was warm and nice. It made him feel safe in a way. It made him feel loved.

And why did Kevin seem sad when he walked off with Poptarts? He looked angry and upset, but also he looked like neither of those.

The whole morning was a flurry of emotions for the pair of them.

 

* * *

 

At 6 pm the Elders had gathered around the table for dinner. They said their prayer, they made sure to thank Elder Church and Elder Davis who had prepared dinner and they dug in. Connor noticed only recently how loud the Elders got at dinner, now that everyone pretty much did their own thing to help around the village, every night there'd be a new story. Whether it was a bug bite, some trouble with the now converted general and his goons or some village gossip, they always had something new to talk about. Connor never paid much attention. He listened but rarely joined. He wasn't used to loud family meals, he was used to order, silence and respect. Sometimes he'd glance over at Elder Church who acted similarly, and occasionally he'd glance over too. His eyes would widen slightly and Connor would nod and smile. He'd watch as Elder Church relaxed into the chair and smiled back. Eventually, he'd join the conversation.

But tonight he was staring right at Kevin Price.

They sat on opposite ends of the table, they were the furthest away from each other but had the best view. Connor watched him laugh, talk, eat, breathe, blink- he broke his stare when he realised he was just being a creep. But he felt something on him, something that wasn't there but made his cheeks fill with colour as he swallowed deeply. He glanced over. Kevin was looking at him too. He had his fork in his mouth in a peculiar way, Connor doubted that he noticed that he could see right in. Unless, no. It looked intentional, but why would it be. Kevin lazily twisted the fork and twirled his tongue around it. He looked down. Then up again. This time he gave Connor an innocent look that had none behind it. Connor stopped breathing, he was could feel his face get hot so he looked away and began to drink his water before he got too...enraptured.

Arnold was watching. Arnold had been watching the entire time and Connor hadn't noticed. He'd seen the long, shy stare that Connor gave Kevin, the smirk Kevin had when Connor looked away. He'd seen how Kevin had purposefully drawn Connor’s attention to his mouth just to- well. Arnold giggled and opened his mouth to speak. The conversation was dying down as the Elders finished their meals, so silence slowly fell across the table. It's a shame how fragile silence is.

“Hey so McKinley and Kevin are Fudge buddies!” he exclaimed, smiling proudly but looking down with evil in his eyes.

Connor spat out his drink and nearly choked.

The fork dropped out of Kevin’s mouth and he whipped his head around. “Wait, Arnold-”

The other elders looked around, absolutely dumbfounded by what Arnold had just said.

But some, like Poptarts and Elder Church, began to laugh little- though they did their best to hold it in.

“Yup me and Naba saw the whole thing!” Arnold sat back in his chair, proud of himself. He snickered.

Kevin began. “McKinley and I did _not_ have sex,”

So did Connor in a shrill and bossy tone. “That is completely untrue and extremely inappropriate Cunningham!”

They spoke over each other while a few elders burst into fits of laughter that echoed through the hut. Another few asked concerned questions but were lost in the mess and one or two elders sat there with raised eyebrows, waiting for the drama to unfold.

“-I did _not_ fuck my district leader! I said _not_! See I'm putting emphasis on the not!”

“That isn't what happened, I just slept in Kev- Elder Price’s room!”

“Oh I'm sorry did you hear people fucking last night? I think the shit not!”

“I was simply helping a friend in need...”

“Plus why would I do that? I'm not fucking gay or something,”

Kevin shut up with an intense scowl on his face. Connor was going to say something but he had caught him off guard. _Of course, he wasn't gay, Connor. You already knew that._ But there was sympathy in his big brown eyes, he seemed as if he wanted to apologise. Connor nodded, he should’ve known this was coming. For all, he knew it had already happened. He tilted his head down to stare at his hands, he wasn't going to cry at the dinner table over a stupid little crush. He felt something light and soft on his upper arm. Poptarts had stopped laughing and was looking at him with worry. He spoke softly. “Are you okay?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of him. Connor nodded in response, and out of the corner of the eye, he saw someone stand and leave the table. The footsteps were loud and the door slammed.

Kevin had stormed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Id like to again thank cat my lovely girlfriend for helping me write this fic! Unfortunatelty she wouldnt let me turn this into a cowboy au :c. Also thanks to Nicoline for proofreading this for me! 
> 
> If yall have any suggestions, corrections or just comments please let me know because I love hearing feedback!!!


	3. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo some minor angst and some hopefully humour in this chapter skeet skeet

He wanted to be mad at Kevin.

He tried so hard to pin the blame on him.

Kevin made him cry, Kevin broke his heart.

But Connor was stupid for letting himself fall for him in the first place, for thinking that the popular kid was gay, for giving into temptation and for becoming so weak.

He was so angry at himself that it melted into hatred, the hatred was washed down with tears and sobs that he stifled as he sat on the front doorstep with his knees pulled up against his chest. He didn't even know what time it was, or how long he had been staring up at the sky for. The sky was vast and wide, he could see endless clusters of stars for miles and miles. There were no city lights to outshine the moon and its following. They were like tiny spotlights, lighting up the stage that Connor sat on. But the theatre was empty and darkness surrounded him as escaped wails echoed throughout the world.

His hand found its way to the spot where Kevin had sat the other day. The cold concrete was smooth under his hand, he imagined that instead of touching the step his hand was on top of Kevin’s. The phantom hand was tanned and warm in the dark night. Connor ran a finger along the edge of the step, but in his head, he was rubbing circles into Kevin’s knuckles. He smiled for a second, but he remembered that it was only a silly little selfish dream so still the tears came.

He heard something and out of the corner of his eye he saw a flicker of movement. He wiped his eyes before looking up at the person who stood beside him -it was Kevin. _Because of course, it was._

“Why are you crying?” Kevin asked from where he was standing. He didn't even bother to whisper.

Connor shrugged, summing up the courage to speak as he looked down at his feet. “Don't know. Cause I'm sad?”

He heard him pause, he was thinking. “Why are you always up at night?” he sat down next to Connor.

“I should ask you the same thing, Elder,” he rested his chin on his knee. “I don't know,”

Kevin pouted, his eyes scanning over Connor. “Well, I know why I'm up. It's cause I can't sleep, cause I feel bad. I’d imagine it's similar for you,”

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Congratulations, you found out that the reason I'm crying and awake at 2 am is cause I feel bad. Well done,” he turned his head to look at the brunette and he felt a pang of guilt in his chest. His frown softened and he turned away again. When he spoke his voice was quiet, it didn't even sound like it was his. “Sorry, but you just wouldn't understand. Why don't you just go back to bed and forget about this?”

“And leave you out here in tears? Look,” he put a gentle hand on Connor’s shoulder. “As a friend, it’s my duty to be there for you and help. So...If you want me to I'll stay here. Do you want me to stay?”

Connor looked at him, his eyes wet with tears still. He just felt so alone in the empty night. This was just pity, Kevin didn't care really about Connor, why should he? But still he nodded, he felt a comforting warmth draw himself to the Elder. Tonight Kevin wore his temple garments, Connor only noticed when he started burying his face into Kevin’s chest and spitting out sobs as he let tears roll down his face. “Please stay, oh please stay,” he whispered. Kevin’s arms were around him as he softly hushed him, stroking his hair slowly. And with that, he felt slightly less alone. He felt warmth and comfort. He felt safety and solitude. He felt a little less sad and a little more okay.

Eternities passed before Kevin spoke again. His voice was quiet and delicate, almost completely opposite to how it usually sounded. “You know that we’re always here for you McKinley, you don't have to hide yourself anymore. Okay?”

Connor only pulled away slightly just to wipe his eyes and shake his head. “That's what you think,” he took a shaky breath that got caught in his throat. “I've seen how Zelder looks at me...It feels like after the whole ‘letting our feelings out’ thing a few people have started to like me a lot less,” he tilted his head up at Kevin. “And I can't just...Unlearn everything. This is all just natural by now,”

Kevin bit his lip and furrowed his brows. Connor felt himself get pulled a little closer, but he didn't think that Kevin even noticed. “Well, it shouldn't be. You shouldn't be used to just forgetting who you are for the sake of others. You deserve to be treated just like everyone else. I mean why should anyone care if you're gay?”

“And it's not like I'm any good at hiding it,” Connor added, his voice monotone. “I know you want to help Elder but it really is pointless and I do appreciate it I really do, but what do you even have to gain from helping someone like me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that, why should you even bother helping me? Why are you trying to help me?”

“Because you're my friend-”

“Friends don't sleep together-” Connor tensed up and he felt Kevin do the same. He hadn't meant for that to slip out. He opened his mouth to speak but Kevin got there first.

“McKinley?” he asked, his voice was soft but he could hear the twinge of nervousness at the end.

“Yes, Elder?”

He took a deep breath. “You know how I'm a terrible liar?” Connor nodded. “Well, I don't know if you knew, but I lied about the cuddling,” he was staring down but beyond Connor whose, eyes were growing wide. “A-and I did that because it was _you_ and because I wanted to get closer to _you_ ,”

“Oh, Elder Price-”

“Kevin, please just use my name. And you're Connor right?”

His heart was about to burst out of his chest. “Yes, _Kevin._ Uh..so you were saying…”

Kevin took a deep breath, perhaps one that lasted a second too long. “Connor I think I'm-”

“CONNOR?!” the front door flung open, and the outdoor light was flicked on. But Connor quickly scrambled out of Kevin’s arms and practically leapt up out of fright. Poptarts stood there with messy hair and erratic breathing. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Oh my gosh Pops, please never sneak up on me like that again!” Connor replied breathlessly. He hoped that Poptarts didn't notice the tears stains on his cheeks and Kevin’s undergarments.

“I was looking for you _everywhere!_ You weren't in bed and you weren't in the bathroom or the living room or kitchen! And so I checked in Arnold and Kevin’s room but Kevin was gone too! I thought you ran away!”

“Oh Pops, I'd never do that and leave you,” Connor walked towards Poptarts and put an arm around him.

“So what were you guys doing then?” the blond boy asked. He then spoke in a whisper “...unless you guys really are fudge buddies?”

“No Poptarts,” Kevin spoke as if Poptarts were the biggest idiot on the planet. “We were just talking,” Kevin didn't even turn to face Connor. “I think I'll be going to bed now, goodnight,” he walked off, muttering something that Connor couldn't make out. He watched him disappear into the darkness of the hallway and he heard the slam of a door.

“Is everything okay?” Poptarts asked, looking up at Connor, who still had his eyes fixed on the hallway.

“Yeah, everything is okay. Come on, let's get back into bed and we can talk in the morning okay?

Poptarts nodded and soon Connor was back in his own bed, repeating what Kevin had said to him over and over again.

 

* * *

 

Connor hadn't been able to sleep again that night, so when the majority of elders were out working or doing their own thing, Connor saw it best that he had a nice cold shower to wake himself up. Another positive was that today was one of those days where no matter what you did you'd be covered head to toe in sweat in 5 seconds flat, so a shower knocked out two birds with one stone. At about 3 pm Connor wandered into the bathroom, locked the door, stripped down and climbed into the shower. He spent the next 20 minutes washing his hair and humming along to songs from Gosh knows where.

He continued to hum as he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower and he continued to hum as he looked through the cupboards and shelves for towels. He stopped when he realised there were none in the bathroom.

_“Fudge,”_ he mumbled to himself.

He unlocked the door and opened it slowly. The washroom was only across the way, he could, in fact, make it in one step if he stretched. It was no biggie. So Connor picked up his shirt off the floor, even though almost everyone had left the hut he wanted to be extra careful. He held it to his well, you know, and walked out the door.

Second time this week, Connor had not only walked smack bang into someone at the worst time in the world, he had walked smack bang into _Kevin_ at the worst time in the world.

“Woah shit!” Kevin yelled as he stumbled backwards, falling down onto his behind.

Connor yelped as he too fell down, but he had been dragged down by and onto Kevin.

They lay there in the hall, Kevin on his back and Connor looming over him and very naked. They stared down at each other's faces just trying to comprehend what was going on. Connor dragged his eyes to his hands which were on either side of Kevin’s head. When he saw his shirt scrunched up in his right hand, Kevin just happened to look down. Connor quickly covered himself as he scrambled off Kevin, his face turning bright red.

Kevin propped himself up on his elbows as his cheeks turned a similar shade to Connor’s. They locked eyes with each other. Connor was still dripping with water from the shower as he took deep breaths and Kevin had never seemed so flustered before. He seemed to be holding back, but eventually, his brown eyes began to study every inch of Connor. They started at his flaming red hair, trailing down his face to his freckled collarbones. From there he took in the District Leader’s chest. Connor watched as Kevin’s eyes reached his abdomen, then what he couldn't see and then what he could. When he got to Connor’s legs he _not-so-subtly_ closed his.

“Towel,” Connor said breathlessly, “I need a towel,”

Kevin nodded and went ‘Ahh’ as if he was actually taking in what Connor was saying.

Connor pointed to the washroom. “You're closer, can you get one for me?”

Kevin nodded then he looked down and stopped breathing. He ‘gracefully’ rolled over so he was on his knees and with his back to Connor. He stood and walked sideways into the washroom, still not facing Connor. He came back out and stuck his head and around the door. “Here,” he muttered, passing the towel to Connor.

Connor thanked Kevin as he wrapped the town around himself and lifted himself off the ground. He gave Kevin a smirk as he just stood awkwardly behind the door, covering himself. Connor would've pitied him if he hadn't been so mortified himself.

“You know Elder- Kevin, I haven't seen you around today. Have you been busy?” Perhaps not the best time to strike up a conversation but Connor was bored and the duo seemed to rarely have enough time to talk.

Kevin shook his head but he let out a strained. “Yup, I've been doing...Lots and lots of uh,” his voice cracked. “Work and stuff,”

Connor grinned. “You weren't at breakfast Kev, I missed you,”

It took Kevin longer to reply this time. “Wasn't hungry,” he finally let out.

“I see,” he let out a small giggle. “Well, I should really get going now I think, we don't want the other Elders thinking we actually are ‘fudge’ buddies now do we?”

“Nope, don't want that,” Kevin shook his head- gosh was he adorable when he was flustered.  
“Exactly. Well, sorry for what just happened. I'll see you around, Kev,” and with that Connor went into the bathroom, picked up the rest of his clothes and made his way back to his room. He smirked at Kevin one last time as he walked past him again.

He had no idea what just happened, but his cheeks were burning and his smile was wide.

 

* * *

 

The next time Connor saw the ruffled Elder again, he was walking out of the bathroom with a flushed face and unkempt hair. He flinched when he saw Connor coming his way, putting his head down with haste to avoid the eyes of the district leader and to hide his shame. Connor simply leered at him then smiled to himself.

“Don't forget to wash your hands before dinner, Kevin,” he announced in passing, just waiting for Kevin’s reaction. When he heard a stumble and some choked noises behind him he smiled, content with his work.

Connor made his way out of the hut, through the back door and into the shade of the building as the setting sun gave a blood orange and golden glow to the land. He sat down on the back porch and began to take in the surrounding view. The evening had been almost as hot as the day and so Connor unbuttoned the top few buttons of his top. When he wasn't satisfied he undid all of the buttons and let his shirt hand loosely from his shoulders, his undergarments still covered his chest.

But Connor had a strange inkling that someone was watching him. He slumped back so that his elbows were holding his weight. “You could come out too you know,” he lazily tilted his head back so that he could see what was behind him, upside down of course.

Even upside down, Kevin looked as flustered as ever. “What?” he asked, sounding more nervous than embarrassed.

“Come outside? I can feel it when you're staring at me you know,” he was getting a little dizzy now, but he was smirking at Kevin and he wanted him to see him do it.

Kevin nodded. “Oh right,” and continued outside till he was eventually sitting down beside Connor.

Connor lifted his head back up and he almost collapsed with how light-headed he had gotten. “It's beautiful in the sunset,” he commented, his voice was calm and smooth for once. “It's like something out of a painting-”

“Or like Lion King…” Kevin cut in, breathless in awe. Kevin was one of those guys who was easily amused by simple things, he would stop to watch and chase butterflies, spend hours gazing up at the clouds that rolled by and Connor assumed that he was also one of those kids who owned a telescope. It was adorable watching someone as muscular and tall as him get so enraptured by the same things a child would.

He let out a giggle and nodded. “Thought you said that Africa was nothing like the Lion King?”

Kevin giggled too, relaxing. He leaned back a little. “Maybe there are a few exceptions,”

“Oh really? Like what?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

“Well, there's the beauty of the place. Of course, it's not the exact same but there's a resemblance,” He sighed contently. “It's a lot prettier in real life,”

“Gosh you're pretentious, but keep going,”

Kevin pursed his lips in thought. “There're villains and there're heroes…”

Connor snickered. “Please don't tell me that you're referring to yourself,”

“Well maybe I was talking about you,” He retorted with a smug smile bubbling on his lips. Connor shrunk back with pink cheeks and a goofy grin. “And anyway, there's also a weirdly strange amount of singing. But I'm not complaining,”

Connor laughed and Kevin quickly joined. The two sat there for a while, giggling and smiling as the light around them slowly faded into a warm twilight. They didn't even hear the call for dinner they were so caught up in their conversation. A tall Elder with mousy brown hair swung open the back door. They were lucky that they didn't hear him groan in disgust. He crossed his arms and scowled down at the pair.

“If you guys are done, dinner is ready or whatever,” Elder Aaron Zelder stood there, tapping his foot. He was a 6’2 grump. Or at least in Connor’s eyes, he was. But whenever Zelder even saw Connor he got angry. “We’re all waiting,” his voice was sour.

Connor nodded, looking at him but avoiding his eyes. There was something so familiar about him that terrified him. He slowly stood. “Sorry, we didn't hear,” he hated this. He was the District Leader! He should be in control, not Zelder.

He felt Kevin watching him, of course, Connor had brought up Zelder last night, Kevin knew that Connor was afraid of him. He felt trapped between Kevin’s pity and Zelder’s hate.

“Clearly,” Zelder added, turning and walking back into the hut. Connor watched and soon followed. He heard Kevin rise and start to speak, but Connor cut him off.

“Con-”

“Come on, Elder. We have to go. They're waiting for us,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again huge thanks to cat for helping me write this!


	4. Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I haven't updated this in a while because I only need to write one final chapter and I've gotten attached to writing this... Oh well, the week isn't over yet!
> 
> TW for some small homophobia in this chapter

Connor was at the chalkboard again, it had become a bad habit. The board never changed, they hadn't updated it since literally everyone in the village was converted. There was no need. It was even gathering dust at the corners, it was a little sad. His eyes moved over the companion pairings, he remembered how hopeful he was as he wrote down ‘Elder Price/Elder Cunningham’ he was certain that they would lead them on their path to victory.

“Just one more week you guys, then finally there'll be a change around here,” he remembered saying excitedly as he put down the chalk.

“How can you be so sure?” Another Elder asked. Who it was escaped from Connor’s memory- it was so long ago now.

Connor turned around to face the group. “I just know it,” he was so determined to rely on someone else, it was selfish. But Arnold and Kevin were their only hope, they had run dry of ideas and motivation.

The memory faded and once again Connor was alone in the dark with the chalkboard, the generous shine from the moon lit up the room with a cold silver glow. Connor sighed and his eyes met the chalk duster. He eyed it as he picked it up. It was cold in his hands. He looked at the board, at all the pointless information and the record of their failure. With little hesitation, he brought it to the board and started scrubbing with haste. Puffs of chalk dust turned into clouds of stale, white air that made him choke and sputter.

Eventually, the board was as good as new.

“Wow,” he heard a voice whisper behind him. He didn't need to turn around to place it, it was Kevin. It was always Kevin. The floorboards creaked as he walked over to Connor. “It's so empty now...It needs something new,”

Connor raised his eyebrows and looked at Kevin out if the corner of his eye. “I thought it was silly just having a record of baptisms when we're not even able to give progress reports and such,” Connor picked up the old grimy piece of chalk “What should it say?”

“Something inspiring, something to keep us going. Like a quote,” Kevin smiled. “Something McKinley,”

He could feel his cheeks turning pink again, they always went like that around Kevin. “I've got it. Close your eyes,” Kevin covered his eyes as he started to write on the empty board. He wrote big fancy letters, with stars and hearts around them.

“Are you almost done? It's just one quote, Connor,”

“Nearly…” he finished the quote with a swirling underline and he took a step back to admire his work. “Ta-Da!”

Kevin took his hands down from his eyes and read the board, he smiled and let out a small giggle. “That is very inspiring and very McKinley. I'm impressed,”

The board read:

**_Love to Dance and Shout_ **   
**_☆ And let all your feelings ♡_ **   
**_Out!_ **

“It's not too flamboyant is it?” He asked, looking back up at Kevin.

“No, it's perfect,” He gave Connor a warm smile and Connor felt his insides turn gooey.

They both looked at the board in an awkward but kind silence. The ticking of an old clock echoed throughout the hut as Connor’s heart beat in time with it. They stood there for a good minute or so before Kevin turned back towards Connor.

“Well, it's late I should probably try getting back to sleep,” he smiled and began to walk away but not before giving the other a small wave. “See ya, Con,”

Connor watched him as he turned to walk away, only reaching a few steps before Connor took hold of his hand. Kevin looked down at Connor with a surprised and bewildered look on his face, glancing back and forth between the district leader and their hands.

“I..” Connor started, his mouth seemed to be unable to follow the words in his head. “I can't sleep, b-but well...The night we slept together was the best night's rest I had in a long time. Could we- If it's okay with you,” he swallowed, his voice getting quieter and tinier by the second. “Could we do it again,”

The brunette didn't answer, he didn't nod nor did he shake his head. He had a strange look on his face of mixed emotions that Connor didn't recognise. He guided Connor over to the couch, not letting go of his hand. The couch was small and a greying shade of blue. No matter how many times it was cleaned dust would come flying off whenever you sat down. It was old and soft but the broken springs and bits and bobs that had fallen in between cushions made the couch creak and squeak whenever the tiniest bit of weight was put on it. Kevin moved the cushions to one end to make a makeshift bed of sorts. He sat down first, inviting the redhead to climb on top of him. Without a second of thought, Connor was climbing onto Kevin, burying his face in his chest and wrapping his legs around him. _It's just because it's a little cramped_ he told himself. Kevin pulled the raggedy throw over the pair, with even more dust flying everywhere. They both coughed but they smiled at each other and settled into each other's arms. Kevin ran his hands through Connor’s messy hair, with his other hand around the District Leader who was clinging onto Kevin’s soft, cotton pyjama top, one that Connor had actually seen him buy down in the market.

“Goodnight Connor,” Kevin whispered as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Sweet dreams, Kev,” Connor replied as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

“Should we wake them?”

“Just let them sleep, they're peaceful,”

“Breakfast is getting cold,”

“Then let's just go! They can make their own,”

“Be quiet! They're sleeping,”

Connor woke up slowly to the voices around him, he turned his head to see almost all of the Elders staring down at him and the boy whose arms were wrapped tightly around him. Arnold and Poptarts were beaming, their faces lit up with goofy grins. Elder Church was giggling to himself, he covered his mouth and stood by the door to the kitchen. Everyone else but one Elder was either laughing or smiling or just plain confused. The odd one out stood there with his arms crossed with a fixed glare and a curled upper lip. The one and only, Elder Zelder.

“Could you guys maybe _not_ stare at me as I sleep? It's creepy,” Connor asked in a deep morning voice. His eyes were barely open and he fell back down onto Kevin’s chest. The group nodded and left followed by an eye roll and a grunt from Zelder.

Connor closed his eyes for a few short moments, humming softly to himself as he settled down. After the moments passed he shot up, waking Kevin.

“Shit,” he whispered, moving off Kevin to sit on the edge of the couch.

Kevin sat up straight, groggy and confused. “Con?” he muttered, sticking his hand out to touch Connor’s shoulder. “what's wrong?”

He turned to face Kevin, who's hair stuck up at the at the sides. If he hadn't been on the verge of screaming he'd laugh at it. “Everyone saw us. _Everyone_ ,”

Kevin moved closer to him, putting his arm around his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. How did they react?”

He took a deep breath, blinking back some tears. “Okay. They were okay- they were happy,”

“So things will be okay, there's nothing to worry about,” Kevin tried giving Connor a warm smile, but it was clear that he was nervous too or at least embarrassed.

“Zelder was mad. He...h-he wasn't happy at all. He's going to be mad at us,”

“Well...What's so wrong about two guys cuddling? We’re friends right?”

Connor nodded and wiped a stray tear. “Y-yeah, it's okay...It'll be okay?”

Kevin pulled Connor into a warm hug and whispered into his ear as he rubbed soothing circles on his back. “Love to dance and shout, and let all your feelings out. Remember? And besides, there's 9 of us against 1. He's outnumbered,”

From Kevin’s chest, Connor laughed a little. He whispered a thank you that was muffled by his t-shirt.

They stayed in that position until a gagging from the other end of the room took them both by surprise.

“Love to dance and shout and let all your feelings out,” Zelder’s voice was cold and harsh. “Geez,” he groaned as he turned to face Connor who had stood up. “Could you get any gayer?”

“I-It’s not gay, it's just a quote. It's meant to be encouraging,”

Zelder scoffed. “Yeah because that's what we need. You know that you're the reason we all failed right? With you and you're... _thing_ we were doomed from the start,”

“Well, I don't see what me being gay has to do with anything. Plus I think that...I think that if I really doomed us from the beginning then I wouldn't be _your_ District Leader,”

“Oh so just because you’re the District Leader you can get away with everything?” He shook his head and took a step towards Connor. “Just because you're ‘in charge’ everything goes! Right, I see how it is,”

“I never said that!” Connor took a step back. “I just said that-”

“Well news flash, McKinley! We all failed under _your_ supervision. This is on you,”

Kevin stood up. “Zelder, I think you're being a bit extreme,” he stood next to Connor. “None of this is anyone’s fault. But if it is then it's mine, okay? I shouldn’t have run away on you guys,”

“Kevin, sweetheart this isn't your fault,” Connor put his hand on Kevin’s upper arm. He faced Zelder who was trembling with rage. “And we haven't failed,”

It looked as if Elder Zelder was about to vomit, he looked beyond disgusted as if the sight of Connor and Kevin was just downright vile.

“See _this_ is what I'm talking about! Elder Price would’ve been brilliant if it wasn't for your -your _influences_ ,” he was looking at Connor.

Connor’s face fell even more. “My what?”

“Oh, you know! Everything was fine until _you_ turned him gay!” Zelder’s yell was shrill and loud, it echoed throughout the hut. “And now you're just both disgusting, sinners and you're bringing us all down with you,”

The tears rolling down Connor’s face were hot compared to his cheeks. His blood ran cold and the hair on his arms stood up. He didn't know what had made him cry. Was it because someone who he once thought of as a friend had brought him down so far and thought of him in such a horrid way? Or was it because this wasn't new? He heard this all before, or at least similar. He swallowed but his throat was too dry. His gaze fell to the floor in shame.

Kevin stood in front of Connor, getting right up in Zelder’s face. He was slightly shorter than him, but whichever way Kevin stood he looked bigger, stronger and angrier.

“Hey, don't you dare talk to Connor like that. He doesn't deserve your bullshit,” Kevin tilted his head as he practically burned holes through Zelder’s face. “And you have no _fucking_ clue what you're talking about. I've been gay way before I even knew Connor existed,”

“Well-” Zelder tried cutting in but Kevin was in one of his spiels again.

“And you know what? The only failure here is how you're so close-minded that you fail to even pay attention to the world around you. Guess what? No one cares if anyone here is gay except for you! If anyone here is committing a sin it's you because you're just hating on random people who care and look after you and bend over backwards doing shit for you without any thanks in return,” Kevin took a step back from Zelder who had shrunk back into himself. He let out a shaky breath. “Just grow up Zelder, everyone else has,”

Zelder was a thin man, but he was athletic too. He had strong arms and legs and he worked out as much as he could. But at that moment a gust of wind could snap him in half. His eyes, in a shell-shocked state, darted between Connor and Kevin. His strained fists fell as he tried to speak, but all that came out was a weak whimper. He took a step back, then a few more. He quickly darted out of the room.

Kevin turned to face Connor and his anger melted away. He gently cupped Connor’s face and wiped away his tears without his thumbs. “Oh Connor…” his voice was so much softer now, he was almost whispering. “I'm so sorry,”

Connor shook his head and buried his face in Kevin’s chest. He threw his arms around him and he pulled him closer to him. “Thank you,” was all he managed to say as Kevin ran his hands through Connor’s hair and shushed him softly.

“It's okay Con, it'll be okay,”

 

* * *

 

  
At 8 pm Connor found Kevin outside, sitting on the porch where he and Connor had admired the sunset of the previous evening. He smiled as he watched Kevin, his hands were warm from the cup of coffee he was holding. He had made it for Kevin as a small thank you, though he knew he could never repay him. “Hey,” Connor greeted him with a loving voice. “Is there room for one more?” he felt shy like he was talking to his old high school crush, minus the whole homophobia and crushing social pressure.

Kevin smiled up at him, “Of course,” and he patted the space beside him. “There's always room for you,”

“I uh, I made you some coffee. I know it's late and I'm always giving out to you…” he sat down and held the cup out for Kevin to take. “But I think I owe you a lot,”

Kevin shook his head as he took the cup. “Con, it's okay. You don't owe me anything,”

Connor rested his hand on Kevin’s shoulder so that he was able to look into his deep brown eyes. “I owe you my life. You’ve done so much for me, you've been there for me and you've stood up for me- no one's ever done that before,”

Kevin shrugged but he had a timid smile on his face accompanied by a cute blush. “Just think of that as a thank you for what you've done for me,” he glanced down. “You're my friend, of course, I'd do that for you. I know you'd do the same for me,” he smiled and turned so he was looking out into the wilderness again. “It's almost as pretty at night than it is in the evening,” he started, but the conversation fell flat. He took a sip of his coffee and Connor felt him glance at him.

“So you're gay,” Connor stated, looking down at the floor. “I thought you said you weren't.

“Well I thought that you said your ‘hetero’ side won,” he giggled. “Yeah, I think I am. I think I have been for a long time,” they both shot sideways looks at each other. “But...I don't think I knew I was until well, this morning. I thought I was just having gay ‘thoughts’. But you were right about the lying,”

They both let out a brisk laugh. “Just not in the way I meant,” Connor added. They laughed like that for a while as they gazed at each other and the surrounding landscape. The stars seemed to be happy too, as they danced in the dark violet sky they shone as bright as ever. For once instead of a sullen, sombre, the night felt serene and silent. Before Connor knew it his shoulder was brushing up against Kevin’s. They had both fallen quiet but they were content in that silence.

After a while, Kevin spoke. “Actually, there is one thing you could do for me,” he rose and looked down at Connor. “Teach me how to dance,” he held out his hand out for Connor to take.

Connor looked at his hand suspiciously then gazing up at Kevin he smiled and took his hand, pulling himself up.

“So, how do you want to dance? Because I'm not exactly an expert at every single style,”

Kevin smiled as he held up Connor’s hand in his. “Just classic ballroom...Or waltz or whatever it's called,” his hand was on Connor’s hip. He looked down at him in ditsy awe, but in awe of what Connor didn't know.

“Well it looks like you've already got the basic position down, are you sure you need my help?” he asked as he placed his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, they were both still in uniform.

Kevin laughed. “Please, I just know this from Disney Movies,”

“Well, in that case, you'll be the _prince_ and I'll be the princess, so you'll lead okay?”

Kevin nodded.

“So I'll take a step back on my left and you'll step forward on your left...No that's your right, okay perfect!” Connor giggled. “One step down, only a hundred to go!” Connor smiled at Kevin who was looking down at their feet. He was so concentrated it was adorable. “Okay, now we step to the right with our right foot…” Kevin did as he was told, but he was clumsy and his steps were too big but Connor didn't mind. “Good! Now bring your left to your right and...perfect!”

Kevin lifted his head, smiling. “Really?”

_No, but you're adorable so yes,_ “Of course, sweetheart. Now the next steps are easy, we just do it backwards!”

“Backwards?!” Kevin asked in shock.

“It's easy, don't worry. So I step forward on my right foot and you step back on your right foot…”

As Connor taught the Elder how to dance his mind fleeted to a magnificent palace in the middle of the woods on a hilltop. They were in a grand ballroom in suits they'd never be able to afford no matter how rich they ever became. The ballroom was in dreamy shades of blues and violets and it dazzled like the night sky. They were the only ones there, just swaying effortlessly as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.

The sudden weight on Connor’s foot woke him from his daydream.

“Oh shit! Sorry, Con,”

Connor gave Kevin’s hand a squeeze, “Oh it's okay Kev, that was my fault! You're a natural at this,”

He really wasn't, but he was good enough that he had some rhythm and grace. Once Connor was able to cease instructing Kevin they swayed in the moonlight like they did in Connor’s head. They danced in silence, the only beat came from their hearts. Eventually, Kevin smiled down at Connor, it was a smile he had never seen before. They were captured in each other’s eyes.

Their faces came closer together, Connor didn't know how. Suddenly, Kevin was leaning in with half-lidded eyes. This was what Connor wanted but he panicked. His eyes were wide in shock as Kevin closed his. He wanted this more than anything, he wanted Kevin more than anyone. But he wasn't ready, he wasn't prepared. So Connor made what was perhaps the worst mistake of his life.

He leaned in for a hug.

_Gosh, you're an idiot._

His heart was beating too fast, so was Kevin’s. He rested his head against his chest and pulled himself close. He heard Kevin gasp a little. They stopped dancing.

“I…” Kevin let out a choked whisper. “I thought…” he pulled away and he refused to look at Connor.

But Connor knew that he was crying.

“Kev-”

“I think I should...I think I should get ready for bed. Goodnight Connor,” as he walked back into the hut he wiped his eyes. He slammed the back door as soon as he was inside.

“Sweet dreams,” Connor whispered to no one but himself. He collapsed to his knees, tears began to fall. He buried his face in the crook of his elbow and let out a muffled scream. “Why are you such a..a- _fucking_ idiot!?” he yelled at himself and punched the ground.

After a while, he went back into the hut, he climbed into bed but he made no attempt to sleep. Poptarts was just settling into bed when the district leader came in.

“Is everything okay?” He walked over to Connor’s bed and sat on the edge.

“No,” he muttered. “I fucked up _everything_ ,”


	5. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an attempt at humour

Strangely enough, Connor fell asleep that night. He was in the ballroom again but this time there were crowds of people watching from the sidelines. Dancers spun around him, making him feel dizzy and lost. He was looking for someone, but they were nowhere to be seen. As every moment passed, the room seemed to be more and more crowded. He was pushing people out of the way- being pushed by people. Squeezing past dancers and stumbling as he was knocked back by a few. As he fell a hand grabbed his, keeping him standing but only inches from falling to the floor. He followed the hand to the connecting arm and the arm to the body. It was Kevin...But not Kevin.

This Kevin wore a shirt of black with rolled up sleeves. The top few buttons were open to reveal some of his chest. Over the shirt, he wore a sparkling vest the colour of sin. It was a deep yet vivid shade of fiery red with glitter that made it look like it was made out of jewels. He wore his dress pants but they were far tighter than they should be. His hair was messy but styled up to make room for the pair of small horns on his temples. He smirked to reveal fangs and a forked tongue that slipped out between them. His eyes were completely black -he had no iris. Connor could feel sharp claw-like nails digging into his hand and wrist, they felt as if they were on fire. When Connor met eyes with the demon that took Kevin’s place he was let go.

He was falling. Where there should have been a dance floor was now an abyss or an endless chasm. He could see the ballroom shrinking away from his sight as he somehow fell underneath it. The further he fell the more he felt like he was on fire. Beads of cold yet searing sweat formed on his forehead as he was pulled down into what looked like hell. He screamed as hard and as loudly as he could as if someone might hear him and save him.

But his scream turned harsh and robotic and eventually he woke to the sound of his alarm clock blaring. He slammed his fist down on it and the beeping ceased.

“Bad dream?” Poptarts asked from his bed as he sat up to stretch. He let out a loud yawn and looked over at Connor with drooping eyes.

“One of the better ones, surprisingly,” his voice was toneless. Sitting up and throwing his legs over the edge of the bed he rubbed his eyes.

Poptarts moved to the edge of his bed to face Connor. The rooms were so small that their knees were touching. No one could comprehend how the beds were able to fit in rooms so tiny. “Still upset over last night?” Poptarts asked.

When Poptarts had tried his best to comfort Connor, Connor broke down and told him everything, he didn't even care that he now knew that he had a crush on Kevin. It just came out of him. But his companion was only able to provide sympathy, which just felt false. He nodded, looking down.

Poptarts sighed. “Maybe you should find someone who's better at this than me,” he breathed a nervous chuckle. “Like, I don't know...Naba or someone,”

Connor held his face in his hands. “And how’d I go about that?”

“I don't know arrange for some...girl talk or whatever,”

Connor scoffed. “Just because I'm gay-”

Poptarts blushed. “That's not what I meant! I just mean that you should ask her for help. It's either her, Arnold, Mafala or Gotswana,”

“The way you've phrased that makes it sound like Mafala and Gotswana are dating,” he managed to let out a snicker. “Fine, I see your point. I'll meet up with her for breakfast or something,”

His companion’s face fell and Connor rolled his eyes.

“You can come too if you want,” Connor pretended to sound disappointed but he smiled. In the past few weeks, he'd grown to love the bubbly Elder- he was probably the closest thing to a best friend since Steve.

“Yay!” Poptarts practically squealed as he ran over to his locker to start getting dressed. “I cannot wait! This is like some classic teen movie! You're the nerdy girl at school and Elder Price is like the hot jock that's arrogant and stuff but has a super sweet sensitive side!”

“And what does that make you?”

Poptarts turned around. “You're bestie of course!”

Not even the strongest person on earth could resist Christopher Thomas’ adorable grin, so Connor smiled. “Of course you are,” he said, and he meant it.

 

* * *

 

 

  
“You're an idiot,” Naba told Connor between mouthfuls of food. Breakfast consisted of ready to go slices of watermelon and nothing more. They walked through the stalls of the market and all its oddities as they ate. During this time Connor, with the help of Poptarts had basically told Naba his entire life story up until that morning.

Connor let out a sigh. “I know,”

“Like a real, big idiot- bigger than Kevin,”

Poptarts snorted and Connor turned his eyes up to heaven. “I didn't come out here to be mocked, do you have any advice or help or something?”

She thought for a moment before taking a bite out of her watermelon and spitting out some seeds. “Have you tried apologising?”

“No…” Connor shrunk into himself. “But I think he'd just ignore me, or deny that he tried to kiss me,”

“Are you 100% sure he tried kissing you?”

“110%,”

“Then we are fucked. Well, you are,”

Poptarts cut in. “Well, not yet he is, ayo!” He and Naba both high fived each other, nearly slapping Connor in the face.

“Could you guys please be serious!?” He snapped “I'm having a crisis here! The boy of my dreams tried to kiss me and I chickened out and made him cry!” Connor paused, taking a deep breath. “Can you guys just help me figure out how to make him feel better and want to kiss me again?”

Poptarts and Naba thought for a moment. When the blond boy came up with a plan he almost jumped with excitement. He grabbed Connor’s shoulders. “I KNOW! You've gotta do something really romantic and just sweep him off his feet!”

“And how do I go about that?” Connor the skeptic asked.

Naba joined in. “It's got to be dreamy or like something out of those cartoons he's always talking about! Something classy but adorable. What do gay guys like?”

“I don't think-”

“FLOWERS!” Poptarts yelled, his excited face of awe turned into a sheepish grin with a blush. “I mean...everyone likes flowers,”

Both Naba and Connor raised their eyebrows at him. Naba shrugged. “Sounds like a good plan,”

“Really?” Connor asked in doubt.

“Really?!” Poptarts asked with stars in his eyes.

“It is a cute idea! It’s really sweet and adorable. And shorty is right-

“Hey!”

“Everyone loves flowers. Especially Kevin Price. I mean, have you seen him?”

  
Connor thought long and hard. Kevin did love flowers a lot and the act of someone giving the person they love flowers was always so romantic to Connor- like something out of a fairytale. “Yeah okay...but we can’t afford it,”

  
Poptarts threw his hand back and slouched with a groan. “Come on, why can’t you just make an exception this one time!”

Connor crossed his arms. “Well maybe if we didn’t spend so much money on Pop-tarts..”

“Alright, Alright. I see your point,”

“Bouquets are expensive you guys. Ever since we lost the support from the Mission President we’ve had to budget and ration… I can’t just spend our funds on some flowers that’ll die in a week,”

Naba shook her head and put her hand on Connor’s shoulder. “Oh, you really are an idiot. Just pick flowers! It’s not that hard. Tomorrow, take tiny over there and go out near the woods or river and find some pretty flowers. It’s not that hard,”

“You’re mean,” Connor groaned and Naba glared. “But also really smart and pretty,” She smiled.

It was nearing lunchtime when the trio reached Naba’s house. They bid her farewell and they started to make their way back to the hut. As they walked down the dusty road, Connor heard the voice of Kevin and Arnold. The pair were walking towards them and Connor froze.

“...but I think that out of all the Elders, Church is the hottest- hey what's up?” Poptarts stopped whatever he was rambling about to look back at Connor. Connor simply pointed ahead of him at the two Elders that were coming closer and closer. They seemed to be deep in a conversation. Their laughs were loud and they hadn't yet noticed Connor and Poptarts. “Oh uh, we gotta hide!”

“Hide where?”

“Uhh…” he thought for a moment before suddenly pushing Connor off the road and into the long grass that was on either side.

Connor yelped as he fell. “POPTARTS!”

“Shhh! Just crawl!”

“You're dead to me,”

“I'm saving your life, now go!”

A groan came from the grass as Connor began to crawl away. Poptarts continued walking down the road whistling to himself as he did.

Connor decided to stay close enough so that he could hear what his companion would say to the nearing Elders. As usual, Arnold was the first to speak.

“HEY POPTARTS!” He yelled he was probably waving at him.

“Oh...Good Afternoon, Elders…” Wow, Pops. Not suspicious at all. “What are you up to this...uh fine day,”

“We're out working! But right now we’re off to Naba’s to pick up some books!”

“Yeah and only pick up books,” Kevin added, maybe he was just tired but he sounded angry, Connor couldn't help but feel responsible. “Why are you alone?”

“Oh you know,” Poptarts started. “Just...walking,”

Connor felt something at his foot, but if he moved he'd shake the grass and that'd only draw suspicion towards him.

“COOL!” Arnold yelled. “Where's Elder McKinley?”

“Oh uh, he's at...The hospital?”

“The hospital?!” Kevin asked he sounded worried. Maybe that meant he still cared. He cringed a lot at his companion’s lie that was sure to bite him in the ass later-

Connor’s eyes went wide in shock and pain. He tried to stay still but it hurt so bad. He jumped up, only a few feet away from the Elders. He screamed and he screamed, crying out in pain. When he saw a scorpion at his feet on its back he screamed even more. He tried running away but he just stumbled backwards onto the ground, onto his behind where he was stung. He couldn't have made himself more obvious.

“CONNOR!” Yelled Poptarts as he rushed over to him. “Is everything okay? Was it a lion? Are you injured?”

“NOT THE DISTRICT LEADER!” Arnold cried, “WHO ELSE WILL KEEP THE ORDER?”

Kevin stayed silent as he walked over. He started down at Connor. His face was riddled with anger and dejection but also worry. He was scared. “What happened?” he asked, though his face was overflowing with emotion, his voice had none.

“S-Scorpion...bit me,” Connor let out as he started to pushed himself off the ground. He nearly collapsed into Poptarts’ arms.

“Where?”

Connor was looking at the floor. He whispered. “My butt,”

Arnold had made his way over. “OH! Don't you have to suck out the venom? I NOMINATE KEVIN!”

Kevin whipped his head around to look at Arnold. “WHAT?! No,” Slowly he turned back to face Connor who was beginning to pant, probably a bit too dramatically. “That's snakes, Arn. I think,”

“Oh. Well, you know first aid right?”

Kevin looked at the three of them. Poptarts was on the verge of tears, Connor was about to pass out and Arnold was wiggling his eyebrows at Kevin. The brunette groaned. “Fine. I know a little first aid. Let's get you back to the hut and _I’ll_ fix you up,” He spoke with his hands balled up in fists and a clenched jaw. He began to march away, soon with Arnold hopping beside him and Poptarts struggling to walk with Connor’s arm over his shoulders and his weight on him. The two of them staggered behind and they arrived back at the hut at 3 pm.

 

* * *

 

 

  
“Drop your pants,” Kevin closed the door to the bathroom as Connor sat down on the lid of the toilet. He had his shirt unbuttoned almost all the way down and beads of sweat dripped down his face.

“What?” he asked, with exhaustion in his eyes.

Kevin didn’t blink. “Drop. Your. Pants,”

“Kevin that is highly inappropriate!”

“You were stung in the butt weren’t you?”

“Yes...but I can do it myself!”

“Connor, you do know that most people don’t suffer this much from scorpion bites, right? Usually, small children or old people are affected like this,” He sighed as he rummaged through the medicine cabinet. He eventually pulled out a small box of painkillers. He threw them over to Connor, who missed miserably. “Take one of those. Can you even stand up?”

Connor scrambled for the box of tablets. “Uh, sort of. I’ll be fine,” He stated as he opened the box and popped one into his mouth.

Kevin crossed his arms. “Prove it,”

“What?”

“Show me that you can stand on your own, if you can then I’ll leave. But if you can’t then I’m staying,”

“Fine,” Connor had a tight grip on the toilet seat as he pushed himself up off it. He managed to stand still for a little until he winced in pain and his knees buckled. Kevin caught him thankfully and helped him sit back down on the toilet. “I stood for a bit…” He mumbled.

“Connor,” He spoke slowly “Do you want me to stay?”

The question brought him back to a previous night when Kevin had comforted Connor on the steps of the hut. At first, Connor wanted nothing more but to be alone, to make Kevin leave. But still, the Elder persisted and for the first time in a long while he thought that maybe someone wanted to stay because they wanted to and not because they needed to. As District Leader, Connor always felt that the elders had resented him, perhaps as an act of rebellion, because Connor was strict or maybe because of the whole gay thing. It was hard to drop his role of leadership. Not because he wanted to control the people around them but because he worried that if they were just allowed to roam free chaos would ensue. Was it shame on him for not trusting his Elders? He always believed that the titles and the roles had put up a barrier between him and the others. But now, Kevin wanted Connor McKinley, not Elder McKinley the District Leader. He had nothing to gain from loving, befriending or simply helping Connor.

-Nothing except for love in return which Connor, being the idiot he is has failed to show or give.

He looked down, then up into the Elder’s brown eyes. He nodded.

“Then drop your pants,”

Connor scowled. “Can’t I just...I don’t know lift my underwear up?”

Kevin’s face turned crimson and his mouth fell open, the corners twisting downwards into a confused frown. He peered at Connor. “That’s...what I was going to do.”

“Oh,” A flush crept up his face and he turned his face down in embarrassment. “That makes more sense,”

“Well anyway,” Kevin glanced sideways at Connor as he looked around the room. “Would you be able to maybe support yourself up against the sink? And I could go behind you-”

“Is there seriously no other way to do this?”

“Well,” Kevin started, with a sly smirk on his face. “You _could_ get down on all fours and I could come up behind you-”

Connor’s face turned even redder as he stood up weakly, his hand had a tight grip on Kevin’s shoulder to keep him steady. “Sink it is,” he decided as he slumped against it.

“Good. Now drop your pants,”

“Ugh fine,” He undid his belt and placed it neatly on the floor. He pulled of his shoes with his feet and shimmied out of his pants, kicking them to the side. “Happy?”

“Over the moon,” Kevin leaned over Connor and he began to fill the sink with water after putting in the stopper. He squirted in some soap and soaked the face cloth in the soapy water. “Which side?” he asked as he got on his knees behind Connor.

“Right” He answered, closing his eyes and trying to keep a clear and focused head. It’s not creepy, it’s just because Kevin Price willingly has Connor’s butt in his face.

“Okay, this might feel weird or cold at first. But just stay relaxed okay?” He hooked his fingers under the bottom of his undergarments on his right leg. Slowly and carefully he lifted it up to reveal a part that Kevin hadn’t seen the other day, with an added blotchy, red mark. Kevin hesitated before carefully pressing the cloth against the sting wound. Connor shivered a little, his grip in the sink tightened. To keep him still, Kevin put a hand on Connor’s waist. “Just keep still and this’ll be easier,” he said as the bathroom door opened.

Horror ran across Zelder’s face as he gawked at the pair. His eyes darted from Connor to Connor’s backside, to the red mark that was on it, to Kevin and to the pair of pants that lay crumpled on the floor. “Uh…” his mouth was open with disgust and confusion. When he met Kevin’s glare, however, he shut his mouth in fear. “Have you guys seen uh...Elder Michaels?”

They both shook their heads.

Zelder nodded, “Well thanks anyway,” He left without haste, almost forgetting to shut the door behind him.

The two stayed there in silence before bursting out into roars of laughter, so much that Connor nearly fell backwards onto Kevin.

“Okay, okay” Kevin spoke between dying laughs. “Keep still,”

Connor was able to watch Kevin in the bathroom mirror. His mouth lifted into a smile as he studied the Elder. He took in the way his hair fell, how the light highlighted his sharp cheekbones. Despite the pain, he beamed down at his reflection. Eventually, Kevin looked up and met eyes with Connor, he returned the smile with warmth but his expression became clouded with sadness and he went back to work. After a few more moments he stood up.

“I’m going to get some ice. You stay here okay?”

“Okay,” Connor obeyed, watching the brunette walk out and leave him on his own.

A few moments passed before he returned with a small ice pack. “So we’ll need to hold this up against the sting for 10 minutes. Want me to do it or…”

“You do it,” Connor answered without even thinking. “I mean,” He sputtered. “Only if you want to,”

“Maybe I do,” This time Kevin sat on the floor and pressed the ice pack against Connor’s backside.

Painstakingly long seconds of silenced past before Connor exhaled. “Thank you for doing this Kevin, you really didn’t have to,”

  
“Well I would’ve taken you to the hospital but you were already there,” His voice was sarcastic and he may have sounded a little rude but he snickered anyway. “It’s really no problem, I know you would’ve had a heart attack if it had been me or um, anyone else,”

“I would’ve passed out from shock if it had been you,” he retorted, smiling at the Elder’s reflection again.

They talked for about 15 minutes, if it were not for Connor becoming painfully numb from the ice, they would’ve talked for even longer. It was nice to know that not everything between them was ruined. Kevin helped the District Leader dress despite there being no real need. Before Kevin left there was a brief moment where they both stared and smiled at each for too long. Connor considered kissing him, but it was nowhere near as romantic as kissing someone while waltzing underneath the stars. Maybe Kevin thought this too because suddenly he left without a word. He just nodded and walked out of the bathroom and made a beeline to his room. Connor’s smile slipped into a frown as he flicked off the bathroom light and made his own way back to his own room. He didn’t come out again until dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop. your. pants


	6. Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooooo y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: For some homphobia in the second part, it's pretty mild tho- just Zelder up to his shenanigans

To no one’s surprise, Connor didn’t sleep too well that night. He tossed and turned so much he woke himself up by coming inches away from falling off out of his bed. There were dreams, of course, but they pretty much always came. Some were actually okay, but the bad ones were horrible. Usually, Connor would make his way to the bathroom, but he was too afraid. Not afraid of the dark or what might be hiding, but of Kevin. His heart still sagged with guilt, if he had just let Kevin kiss him they could be cuddling right now and Connor would be able to fall asleep in the arms of the beautiful, brown-eyed brunette.

He woke up at 6 am to the sound of rain pelting against the roof of the hut. There was a moment where instead of willing himself to get up he just lay there on his stomach with his eyes closed and his face all scrunched up and wishing the world away.

“Con?” He felt a hand grace his forearm. Connor still kept his eyes almost glued shut. “Connor, are you awake? Is your butt okay?” He felt his companion gently shake him awake and he groaned. Because of the bite, Connor had to sleep on his stomach but he couldn’t find a position that was comfortable and it just felt degrading to sleep with his behind in the air.

He opened his eyes and rolled over so he could stare up at the lively Elder. “Do we have to do work today?” was all Connor managed. This week had just been too much for him. Besides his usual drama and district leader work, he had to deal with Kevin, Zelder, scorpions and now the rain.

He only needed to nod and Connor was sitting up, only wincing a tiny bit.

He threw his head over his shoulder and stared out the window with an exasperated sigh. “Are you sure you want to come today?” He chewed his lip, he could already feel tears in his eyes. He felt like his entire body had been drained of everything that gave him true life; he just sat there, an emotionless and tired husk. He was so tired.

“Of course!” Poptarts beamed. “It’s going to be an _adventure!_ Besides, it’s only a small shower! I’m sure it’ll clear up!” The blonde took his hand and pulled Connor to his feet. “Come on, I already got your clothes out. I’ll make some Pop-tarts and you can get dressed!” He didn’t even give Connor time to answer before he skipped out, humming to himself.

If Connor had the energy to, he’d have smiled.

He followed after him anyway, but instead, he trudged over to the bathroom, hunched over and with his head hanging. He opened the door only to find exactly what he had been fearing all night long. They had got to stop running to each other like this.

Kevin stood there, the outside light glaring in on him, bringing a shine to his stark features. He was brushing his teeth, his hair a wet and almost a curly mess, droplets of water still ran down his body- particularly his arms and chest. He only had a towel hanging loosely around his waist. Connor saw this as some sort of revenge.

“Oh,” he managed and despite the exhaustion, a blush still rose through his cheeks. “I uh..” He looked down, away from Kevin who had an eyebrow raised. He chuckled breathlessly and emotionlessly. “I think the door needs a um… new lock, heh,”

Kevin spat out the frothy toothpaste into the sink. That forced Connor to glance back up at him. He was staring at him. His brown eyes seemed to be studying Connor’s every move and he read his every action. For a small second, Connor was scared that he could read his thoughts. Kevin didn't reply. He didn't laugh or smile or even acknowledge what he had said. Connor’s fake smile faded away and Kevin only squinted at him.

“I think we need to stop, _McKinley_. Whatever this is,” he stated in a low voice as he began to wash his face.

Connor’s mouth fell open. “I..I don't understand what you-"

Kevin rolled his eyes as he threw the face cloth into the sink. “Oh you've got to be kidding me,” his voice was harsh, Connor knew he got angry but he had never seen him like _this_ before. “You know what's going on better than I do and I'm sick and tired of being caught in this…” he looked like he was either about to cry or yell. “in this mental game of yours or whatever,”

No, Connor had seen him like this before. On the second day of his mission when Kevin came back to the hut covered in another man’s blood. He was so tense that his veins looked as if they were going to burst and he was overflowing with rage, despair and failure. “Kevin I-"

But Kevin was walking towards him now and he shrunk back into himself, for a second he saw Kevin hesitate and he saw the guilt in his eyes. But he shook his head and walked past Connor, their shoulders brushing together only slightly.

  
“Oh, McKinley?” he was looking over his shoulder, his voice was snarky and rude. Connor turned to look at him, his eyes were filling with tears but he didn't dare cry in front of Kevin, not again. “Dreams aren't real,” he began, cocky and with his head held high. “No matter how much you want them to be,” and then he turned around, leaving in silence and leaving Connor alone.

Connor didn't bother brushing his teeth or washing his face. He ran back to his room, tears in his eyes. He slammed the door shut and got dressed as quickly as possible as the tears ran down his face. He met his companion out in the kitchen, making pop-tarts. Connor didn't say anything to him, he still had a tear rolling down his cheek and with one look Poptarts went to get his backpack and they were out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor didn't know if this counted as running away, he still wanted to try and get flowers for Kevin, but he knew they'd have no luck. The rain poured down on them, turning the usually dry dirt roads into a slippery mess. Their dress shoes sunk into the muck and the end of their pants were stained and soaked. Despite the humid heat that was still hanging in the air, the boys shivered. His companion was smart enough to pack an umbrella, but he made no effort to stand underneath it. He saw the rain as some sort of punishment. The bad karma that had been on his trail had finally caught up with him. He had made Kevin cry, he made Zelder hate him and he was pushing this all onto Poptarts who was doing his best to just put some sort of smile on Connor’s face.

“I spy with my little eye… something beginning with D!” he chirped, he was always chirping and skipping and humming and singing and just doing everything cheery and joyful. It was weird and maybe slightly aggravating. It wasn't his squeals and giggles that annoyed Connor or how he was bumping into people every five seconds, no. What annoyed him was just how happy he always was, he was the personified version of the phrase “Sunshine and Rainbows,”. Despite every single thing he had been through in the past few years alone, he always had time to crack out a few laughs and make flower crowns or whatever. That was what annoyed Connor because he could never learn how to do the same.

He rolled his eyes. “If it's dirt again, then I swear to gosh-"

“Nope!” he was actually older than Connor too but only by a few months. He was so short and his hair was a floppy mess of golden waves. His was so round too, he had chubby cheeks and soft green eyes… he looked as if he had just turned 16. “It’s daisies!” he sang in that songbird-like voice of his, pointing at the ground, he had stopped walking.

“Daisies?” Connor deadpanned. “You expect me to give him daisies?”

“Well I just thought-”

“Let's keep looking,” he cut in, barely even looking at Poptarts. Today was not a good day for anything. Not for Connor, not for Kevin, not for picking flowers and it certainly wasn't a good day to be so hopelessly and helplessly in love.

Maybe helpless was a bad word. He still had Poptarts and Naba, but he just didn't have Kevin.

They walked on for a while. Poptarts would occasionally stop to pick up anything that caught his eye. Connor for ages would groan and mutter something about wasting time, but eventually, he just began to ignore him and he continued on. He wasn't looking for flowers anymore, he just wanted to be alone and to get away from everything. The thing was, he didn't know if he wanted a do-over or not. This week was probably one of the worst weeks of his life, but it was also one of the best. This was the closest he had ever gotten with Kevin, and he didn't just mean romantically. He felt for a while that he was able to consider Kevin a close friend and one of his best. He got to see the side of Kevin that only a select few got to see. He saw him sing and dance, he saw him being protective and loving, he stood up for Connor and he held him close when he cried. He wrapped his arms around himself, imagining that they were Kevin’s. But no warmth came from them, and maybe it was just the rain, but he couldn't see anymore, he was certain he was crying. He let Kevin go. He had seen him cry and he had seen him laugh properly, he watched him lie to his face and he didn't even know it, they made each other smile and blush but Connor threw it all away.

He let out a sob.

He really was pathetic, wasn't he?

Poptarts, who had been inspecting a random bush for flowers caught up with him. “Connor?” he asked softly, a hand gently falling on Connor’s back.

He shook his head and he really did his best to hold back sobs but they just kept escaping him. He shook his head some more, he didn't know who he was trying to fool. It was clear that Poptarts could see the tears and hear the sobs. He was the fool, he was crying over some silly little crush. It didn't matter. He'd go home and his parents would find him a wife. What about Kevin? He'd probably get a wife too, he was probably already engaged. Kevin mattered to Connor and for a brief but beautiful moment, Connor had mattered to Kevin.

He held his face in his hands as he cried endless tears. He could feel Poptarts’ arms around him, he could hear his voice softly hushing him and all Connor could think of was the time he had cried into Kevin’s chest and how warm and calming it had been and how he'd never ever experience that again.

The pair found a tree that gave them enough shelter from the rain, it had gotten too heavy for them to be standing out there. Now they were seated on the roots of a looming bush willow tree, dripping wet and covered in dirt. Poptarts was sitting facing Connor, who had his back against the tree.

“Hey, hey, everything is gonna be okay, okay?” he spoke softly and with serenity. Though his voice ran smooth like silk Connor could only concentrate on the panic in the boy’s eyes. He could see tears welling up in them as they darted back and forth. “Do you want to stay here for a while?”

Connor wiped his eyes and nodded. He wanted to stay here forever, he wished he could. His companion moved to sit beside him.

“Then that's what we’ll do,” he put a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “We don't need to worry about any flowers, okay? We’ll figure something else out,”

As Poptarts rubbed soothing circles into Connor’s shoulder, he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. His mind went back to this morning, to Kevin. To the way he glared and rolled his eyes. Or when he mocked Connor and stormed out. “No,” Connor mumbled with tears rolling down his cheeks. The rain was still pelting down around him and he wasn't even sure if Poptarts could hear him. “There's n-no point… he doesn't like me,” he took a shaky breath and brought his knees up close. He forced his eyes shut as he choked out words between sobs. “He h-hates me,”

“Oh, Con…”

“He hates me a-and it's all my fault...I- He doesn't want _anything_ to d-do with me and…” he was forcing the words out of him, like some kind of twisted torture. “A-and I love him,” he opened his eyes and turned to face Poptarts, who was glancing away. “A-and do you know how much that hurts?”

“Connor…” he began.

“...t-to know that if you had just k-kissed him you could be h-happy?”

“Con-"

“Instead of j-just crying under a tree in _f-fricking_ _Africa,_ I could be with the man I l-love-”

“Connor,” said a voice that was too deep to be Poptarts.

Connor reluctantly looked up to see a tall figure with brown hair and dark brown eyes walking towards him. Despite the rain pouring down on him he could see the tears that rolled down his prominent cheekbones. His usually tanned skin seemed so delicate and pale under the grey, cloud-covered sky.

“Kevin…” Connor whispered as he slowly rose. He shivered but whether it was from fear or from the cold he couldn't tell. He took a few steps towards him, but it felt like there were miles between them. He noticed that Kevin came on his own. His heart sped up.

Over the past week, he had learned just how terrified Kevin was of being left alone. He saw it in his eyes when Naba had playfully poked fun at him and when he came crying to Connor in the middle of the night. He had the scene playing in his head; No one had noticed that Connor and Poptarts were missing. Granted, they hadn't been out too long but the district leader had only shown up at breakfast to pull his companion away. Kevin would've been the first to notice, he was always looking over his shoulder or out of the corner of his eye at Connor. When he wasn't paying attention, Kevin would be able to gaze longingly at the redhead and despite his anger, he still would've done that today, because Kevin loved Connor.

“Connor, I'm sorry...I shouldn't h-have snapped and I know that this hasn't been fair on you,” he was talking so fast, taking shallow breaths as tears quickly fell. “B-But, but I'm so sorry…”

He wondered what it had been like, did he go around the hut asking everyone if the duo had been seen, or did he just ask about Connor. Did he go searching through all the places he could be- did he ransack Connor’s bedroom, look around his office, check the bathroom, out behind the hut or on the front steps? Did he hesitate before running out the door, either telling everyone or no one? Did Arnold try to come to, or did he beg him to stay?

Connor shook his head, taking more steps forward and closing the distance. The brunette was refusing to look at him. The redhead could only concentrate on his lips and how sadly they sagged.

“I know you probably don't feel the same way about me but-”

He never knew how warm someone’s lips could feel despite them both being drenched from head to toe with rainwater. His lips were a little chapped, but he didn't care because they were so warm, it felt like he was giving him life. His hand found his way to Kevin’s side and he didn't know if it belonged there, but it felt like it should, so he rested his hand on Kevin’s waist and pulled him closer, once he was sure he was returning the kiss.

He wondered what Kevin was thinking now. Was he still afraid?

They pulled away for a second, only to whisper each other’s names and go back to kissing. The world around them just disappeared. Time didn't exist, the forest didn't exist and neither did the rain. He felt a little bad for Poptarts who must've felt like the world’s biggest third wheel.

Enough was enough when he was able to hear his shivering companion behind him. He gave Kevin a long and loving gaze before looking over his shoulder at Poptarts, he was doing his best not to look.

“I... I think we should head back to the hut before it gets any heavier,” his lips tingled as he spoke, they felt like they were on fire and Kevin’s certainly looked like they were.

He held Kevin’s hand as the three of them walked back to the hut. Without even noticing he had done it he was resting his head on Kevin’s shoulder as they followed Poptarts’ yellow umbrella like a beacon, all the way home.

 

* * *

 

 

The three elders came back to the hut, bringing in puddles and dirt. They quickly took off their shoes and left them by the door. Poptarts shook his umbrella dry and dumped it beside the door. They were all beyond exhausted as they trudged through the hall of the mission hut. Connor still had his fingers laced with Kevin’s and he leaned into him as they made their way into the living room where the other's had been seemingly waiting.

“OH, BUDDY!” Arnold cried jumping up. “We were all so worried about you guys!”

The others nodded in agreement. They were strange like that, they worked as a team or some kind of hivemind. They knew when the other would speak or how the other’s react. Connor never felt part of that group, he was just an onlooker who occasionally had to steer them in the right direction.

“Yeah, we had no idea where you guys were,” Elder Church piped up.

Elder Zelder scoffed. “So what? They just went outside it's not that big of a deal,” he had his arms crossed and his head tilted up and looking down at everyone else. He had furrowed brows, pursed lips and an overall sour expression. “You were late.” he glanced down at Kevin and Connor’s hands intertwined. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “And now this? You guys wasted valuable time and endangered Elders just so you could go outside and _fondle_ each other in the rain?”

 _“Zelder!”_ Elder Davis snapped as the other's collectively gasped.

Connor could feel the anger seething from Kevin. He put his hand on his chest to stop him. For once Connor wanted to do something.

“Elder Zelder,” he began, taking a deep breath. “F-fuck you.”

Silence followed his voice as he stared the tall Elder down. He wouldn't let him keep pushing him down again and again. Connor was stronger than him and braver too. He squeezed Kevin’s hand as he continued to give Zelder a fiery glare. He was frozen in place, his mouth kept opening and closing and making the weirdest of shapes. Connor had him just where he wanted.

“Look around you Zelder, no one gives a sh-shit. We’re Mormons. We're supposed to be the shining beacon of light that takes in all and accepts everyone. Did you not pay attention to your teachings?”

“Well I was always told that homo-"

“That homosexuality is a sin yeah, yeah whatever,” he said, a shiver running down his spine. He was still dripping wet and he stood nearer to Kevin. “You wanna know what else is a sin? Wearing blended fabrics. Our shirts are made of polyester blends,”

“W-well that's just an outdated rule-"

“In the Bible, Leviticus 18:22 reads: _‘Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination’,”_ he stated, he had this argument memorized for years now, in case he ever willed himself to stand up to his parents. “Leviticus 19:19 says: _‘You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together,’_. Explain that to me,” if he didn't like holding Kevin’s hand so much he'd have his arms crossed, so he settled for resting a hand on his hip.

Zelder still stood there stuttering and gaping at the couple. “I-I…”

“Besides, Zelder. You shouldn't use one line from one book to hate millions of people. It’s just wrong,” he shrugged.

His mouth was hanging open and Connor was praying to whatever was out there that a bug would make its way in somehow.

“Actually,” Arnold turned around to look at Zelder. “The book of Arnold says that you can love whoever you want,” he looked back at the others. “I know I wrote that...but I think it's what's right,”

“Yeah,” Elder Schrader was nodding, addressing the group. “So what if they're kissing? Arnold and Naba kiss all the time and no one seems to care,”

Elder Church cleared his throat before he spoke. Not to charge into the conversation, it was just a little thing he did on the off chance he did speak up. It was as if he was preparing himself to speak. “If people are happy and it doesn't hurt anyone...then what's so wrong about it?” whenever Elder Church spoke his voice was quiet; it was soft but you could tell that if he spoke up and with confidence, it'd be loud and almost singsong like.

All the Elders were nodding in agreement and Connor could feel his eyes brimming with tears again. Perhaps the others could too because Kevin began to squeeze his hand and rub his thumb against his knuckles.

“Con- McKinley has been the happiest I've ever seen since he's started hanging around with Price,” said Poptarts.

Arnold hummed in agreement. “The same with Kevin, actually,”

“Connor makes me happy,” Kevin spoke in a low, gravelly voice.“I’m sorry if this happiness annoys you Zelder, but you're the odd one out, now,” He looked down at Connor and spoke softer, his voice low. “Come on, you'll freeze to death if you don't change,” and he strolled away to his room with Connor following behind. It wasn't long before they heard the sounds of Zelder’s footsteps as he stormed out of the living room and to his own room. The door slammed behind him.

No one went after him. No one wanted to.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor pulled the old t-shirt that Kevin had lent him down over his head. It was soft and smelt just like him. It must've been old, the design was beginning to fade and there were some wrinkles that just couldn't be ironed out.

“I’m sorry. For chickening out...when we were dancing,” Connor began.

“I'm sorry for running away,” said Kevin as he sat on his bed. He had changed into his own pyjamas- also Disney. “I know something like that isn't easy for you to just do- I mean I don't know exactly. I just know you've been through a lot,”

Connor shrugged. “I was thinking about kissing you though, everything just happened so fast,” he turned away as he began to undo his belt buckle. “I'm sorry for running away this morning. I had a good reason to though,”

“I,” he sighed deeply. “I'm so sorry for snapping at you...that certainly wasn't fair,”

Connor pulled down his trousers and slipped on a pair of pyjama pants that Kevin must've bought at the market. He turned around and a put a finger to Kevin’s lips, the other hand on his shoulder. “No more apologising. We were just upset and confused and-"

“Hopeless?”

“Not anymore,” he smiled. “Anyway, I didn't run away because of what happened in the bathroom. I mean, mostly, but I was going out to pick flowers,”

“You certainly picked a good day for it,”

“They were for you, you dummy. They were sort of meant to be an apology but also as a ‘please date me,’ sort of thing,”

“Dating,” Kevin smiled as he ran the word across his lips. Connor sat beside him on the bed. “Is that what we are?”

The redhead shrugged. “I mean… we did kiss and hold hands and stuff...so I’d assume so. If that's what you want,”

“It's what I want and more…” he whispered as he turned Connor’s head delicately so they were facing each other. He lightly cupped his cheek, pulling him in for a short, soft kiss. He flashed Connor a smile he had never seen before as he pulled away. His cheeks were pink and he had the biggest dimples ever. “Boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends,” and Connor returned the smile.


	7. Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Kevin's first day as a couple and the end to their hectic week.

Toned arms; golden, sun-kissed skin; plump lips that curve upwards into a slight but soft smile; deep and rich brown eyes that are covered with long fluttering lashes; chiseled cheekbones that stick out just a little; a jawline that’s been cut from marble and tousled hair the colour of chestnuts is what Connor McKinley dreamt of that night. Dreams do come true because that was what he woke up to, too. Kevin’s arms were wrapped protectively around Connor, guarding him against the bad dreams and thoughts that awaited him in the shadows of the night. He didn’t wake up once during his sleep and he got a full night’s rest and dreamt of warmth. He dreamt of Kevin. Thin slivers of sunlight shone through the raindrops that were still falling outside. Like a soft melody that lay in the background, they splashed against the ground. If it was creepy, he didn’t care, because gazing over at Kevin was like gazing into heaven; something he thought he’d never see. The Elders never set their alarms for Sundays, as Sunday was their day off according to God or something. He lay there for what felt like an eternity and certainly one he’d want to relive before he delicately lifted Kevin’s off of him and climbed out of bed.

The hut was in silence, that was his favourite thing on a Sunday morning. There was no rushing around to get ready before breakfast. No queue for the shower where Elders were grumbling and groaning at each other and no certain Elder that would be scoffing at the sight of Connor. If he wanted to, he could twirl around and dance around the hut and no one would ever know. So he hummed a soft, quiet melody to himself as he ambled towards the kitchen, still in _Kevin’s_ pyjamas. He felt like Snow White or Cinderella. He laughed a little to himself, Kevin would sure be proud of him for thinking about that.

Kevin, his _boyfriend._

He almost squealed as he opened the door to the kitchen. But he stopped dead in his tracks. Gosh, couldn’t he go anywhere without seeing the last person he wanted to? Zelder stood by the counter, looking up from his book of Mormon. He had a pen and a slip of paper lying on the cheap, white, laminate countertop beside a glass of water. He was looking up at Connor with worry-ridden eyes.

“McKinley, I-” he began, choking the words out letter by letter.

Connor rolled his eyes. “Whatever it is Elder, I don’t want to hear about it right now,”

Zelder was clearly taken aback, but he nodded. Collecting his belongings he stood up and put his glass in the sink. He walked around Connor, avoiding him as he left. He went back to his humming, deciding that for once he wouldn't let Zelder’s close-minded way of life bother him. He continued humming as he started making some coffee; boiling the water and grinding the coffee beans. He took out Kevin’s favourite mug; a hand-painted Disney one that Mafala had given him for his birthday. The only times Kevin didn't drink from it was when it got far too dirty to drink out of and Connor would fear for his health. He couldn’t believe Kevin never picked up on the little things. Not to be picking favourites, but Zelder could eat a bowlful of dirt from behind the hut and he wouldn’t care. If Kevin just so much as touched someone else’s dirty laundry he’d freak ( Unless they were Connor’s ). As he waited for the water to boil, he picked out a few Cinnamon Pop-tarts for them, also Kevin’s favourite. _Nothing but the best for my boyfriend_ He thought and for once it wasn’t just some silly fantasy.

The water had boiled and the toaster had popped and Connor was now walking back to Kevin’s room with a tray of their cheap little breakfast. The brunette was still fast asleep, he looked angelic laying there, half covered by the blanket and half not. His shirt was rolling up a little to reveal his slightly muscular and very tanned abdomen. Connor blushed as he struggled to stop the thoughts from wandering too far. “Wakey, wakey,” he said in a hushed voice, but loud enough that Kevin’s eyes gently fluttered open. He smiled his sleepy grin up at Connor, who was settling beside him once again. “I brought breakfast,” he added on, his voice still only just above a whisper.

“My favourite mug…” Kevin mumbled in his groggy glee. “And pop-tarts,” his smile got wider as he sat up, pulling Connor in for a quick kiss on the cheek. He stayed there for a bit, his head resting against the redhead's. “How’d you sleep?” he asked quietly as if they were exchanging secrets. Connor never quite enjoyed talking about his sleeping habits, quickly changing subjects angrily if anyone got to close. But he liked the way Kevin asked because Kevin asked in a serious, yet caring voice. He was simply checking in on his boyfriend, wanting him to be happy and healthy.

“Like a baby,” Connor beamed at him “Now, eat your breakfast before it gets cold,”

What was strange Connor had found, was that not much had changed between the two. Sure, now they were kissing instead of running away from each other, but they were still Connor and Kevin. Kevin being the teacher’s pet and Connor being the uptight District Leader that perhaps let Kevin get away with too much. They still had their little jokes and small conversations, but now they could flirt directly to each other and not discreetly. They could actually comfort each other with proper love and affection and though they knew the other would never heal them, they knew they were always there to lend a hand. When Kevin pulled away to sip his coffee, Connor instinctively rested his head on Kevin’s shoulder. Everything was so natural now- everything was so right.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When the rain had stopped the couple had migrated to the stream that ran behind the hut. As the sun had broken through the clouds and pelted it’s rays down onto the land, the ground had dried and was back to its usual, flaking state. They sat cross-legged and across from each other as they threw their heads backs and filled the air with laughter. Connor had found tiny yellow flowers and decorated Kevin’s hair with as many as he could. To him, Kevin looked like an angel or a saint of sorts. His crown of golden petals was like a halo of light hanging around his head. The afternoon light gave the brunette a glow which added to his angelic appearance. Connor found himself drifting off into his daydreams as he gazed lovingly at his boyfriend. He still couldn’t believe it.

Connor was lacing daisies together to make a chain as Kevin sun songs that sounded sweet as honey with his silky voice. He would chuckle between words and smile up at the heavens. Sometimes Connor would glance up at him and wonder what he could possibly be thinking about. Was he ever worrying about where they’d end up when their mission was over? Or was he dreaming of a day where they could possibly be living together? He shook off those thoughts though and became lost in Kevin’s melody.

_“When you press me to your heart, I'm in a world apart…”_

From a man whose voice was often loud and brash, his song was so soft and delicate. In a way, it almost felt vulnerable. Connor let the music flow around him, closing his eyes and imagining the lyrics as they left Kevin.

_“...a world where roses-,”_

He stopped suddenly and Connor was dragged out of his trance. He looked up to see a mixture of fear and anger spread across Kevin’s face; his lips were in a pout and his brows were furrowed, yet his eyes were wide in panic.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, looking just behind Connor.

“I wanted to- I mean, I _needed_ to apologise,” The intruder answered.

Connor didn’t want to turn around. His heart was pounding, he could feel it and he was sure Kevin could feel it too because when they made eye contact he held out his hand for Connor to take and sit beside him. Now they were sitting side by side, their hands intertwined and looking up at Zelder.

Kevin scoffed. “Yeah, you do,” and Connor put his hand on his chest. As much as he hated Zelder right then, he was tired of arguing.

Zelder took a deep breath and pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket. Connor recognised it as the same one he was writing in that morning. “So uh..I,” his eyes darted across the page. He refused to look up at the couple, but not out of anger. Out of fear. “I’m really, really sorry about  
how I acted and the um...and the things I said. I know that that doesn’t fix anything, but I just needed to get that clear,” He wiped the beads of sweat off of his forehead. “I was looking over our uh, you know... teachings and I f-found this proverb,” He cleared his throat. “Proverb 17:17 says that, ‘ _a f-friend loveth at all times,_ ’ and well the thing is, is that I am... ashamed of myself because I have not done so. We are all brothers, sisters and um... latter day saints. And- and we are also family and friends. But I’ve been a bad friend, and I know that God has been looking down at me and shaking his head because of eh...heh how I’ve treated you two,” He swung back and forth on the balls of his feet as he spoke, the paper was beginning to crumple in his hands. “And-and in the book… the Book of Mormon, Mosiah: 23:15 states, ‘T _hus did Alma teach his uh people, that every man should love his neighbor as himself, that there should be no c-contention among them,’_ And so I apologise for our c-contention that I’ve caused,” He looked up at them, holding the paper close to his chest. “Look, I see now that I- that we are all each other’s neighbour. Y-you two are each other’s neighbour and you, you know, love each other and that love just happens to be different from how I love you two,” he chuckled out of nervousness. “B-but who cares if it’s different? Love...is love. Uh, right?”

The couple was taken aback. Neither one had been expecting this. In the past days, Zelder had been ruder than ever. He had embarrassed them in front of their missionary brothers and belittled them. But by doing so he had belittled himself and he had lost the respect everyone had for each other. Connor thought for a moment, perhaps it was a selfish moment. Was Zelder just doing this to earn back that respect? He studied him. He had obvious tears in his eyes and his hair was a mess. His shirt had sweat stains but that wasn’t out of the ordinary. He was right when he said an apology didn’t fix everything. But it was a step in the right direction. A big step too.

Connor opened his mouth to speak, but he stopped when he heard Kevin sniff beside him. He looked over at his lover to see tears rolling down his face. His cheeks had become red and blotchy and his face was contorting into a frown. “Oh Kevin…” he whispered, reaching over and gently brushing away the tears.

“I’m s-sorry, I can go- if you uh want me to?” Was all Zelder could say.

“No,” Kevin shook his head and wiped his eyes. “N-No no it’s okay… It’s good. It’s good,” He managed a small smile. “Thank you, Zelder. It means a lot...really,”

Connor nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you. Of course, this doesn’t excuse what you said before...but this does make a lot of things better. I’m certain we can fix this situation soon,”

Zelder was nodding and smiling. Connor didn’t think he had ever seen him so happy before. “Of course, I know and I’m still so unbelievably sorry. I blamed my teachings which is something I regret. There’s nothing at fault here but me and I’m so so so sorry,”

They both smiled at him as silence hung in the air. Zelder was returning the smile but the situation had grown more intense and awkward as the seconds passed.

“Could we be alone?” Connor eventually asked with an eyebrow quirked.

“Oh yes! Sorry, of course. Dinner will be ready at 6- as usual,” He started to make his way back to the hut, almost running as he did.

They watched him leave before finally facing each other.

“Do you think he’ll be mad if we’re late again?” Kevin asked with a smirk on his lips.

“Probably, but I think he knows that he’s on thin ice,”

“That’s fine by me,” And Kevin leaned in, capturing Connor’s lips with a kiss.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
At dinner, Elder Zelder offered to switch seats so Connor could sit closer to Kevin. As they both rose out of their seats, many of the other missionaries shot death glares at Zelder. They must’ve thought he was trying to move away from Kevin. Despite the warmth of protection, Connor felt a small twinge of guilt for his former rival. In The Doctrine and Covenants’ section 58 and verse 42 it clearly states: “ _Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more,_ ” Connor decided to do just that. As District Leader, he felt it was his responsibility to teach his brothers to do the same, for Zelder has chosen to right his wrongs and he must be supported and helped through that. As he walked past him, he put a hand on Zelder’s shoulder and he spoke with honesty and sincerity.

“Thank you, Aaron. You didn’t have to do that but I appreciate it nonetheless,”

A shy smile began to break across the tall Elder’s lips. “Oh- well, it’s the least I could do, really,”

Without looking Connor could feel the others settling back into their chairs. It was unspoken but the two both knew they weren’t talking about the seats. They made their ways to their new places and sat down. Kevin grinned softly at his boyfriend while Poptarts was currently staring at Zelder with a sour look on his face. Connor decided not to say anything this time; perhaps a little bit of karma could go a long way. Besides, Poptarts was his best friend- he knew what he was doing.

For the first time, they ate like a family. Everyone engaged without fear of failure. People threw jokes around, teased one another and told stories long after the food had been eaten. In the atmosphere of their little corner of the universe hung a sense of belonging. It was warm and comforting. It was nostalgic but somehow new. Connor was pleased to learn that Elder Church had a laugh nearly as loud as Arnold’s and it was no doubt caused by Poptarts making a fool of himself.

“Wait, wait, wait...you did _what?!”_ asked Elder Michaels between laughs.

Connor put down his glass, trying not to blush. “I went for a hug!”

“Yeah. I went for a kiss and he _hugged_ me,” added Kevin, only a little bit mad.

“I was panicking!”

“We were dancing!” Kevin argued. “It was like something out of a fairytale! How did you not expect me to try and kiss you?” which earned a whistle from Elder Neeley.

Connor had his mouth open trying to find the words but only incoherent noises came out.

“Maybe he was too busy daydreaming about...what was it again?” Davis raised an eyebrow and leaned over. “Swimming… naked in the sea?”

“OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH!” His cheeks were turning bright red but he was smiling nonetheless.

Poptarts gasped. “Oh my gosh, he was!”

“I WAS NOT!”

“Denial! That means he was,” Church pointed out.

“Hey, hey…” Kevin silenced the boisterous Elders. “We do not talk about Steve,”

Silence hung in the air until Arnold giggled and turned to face the group. “He was so jealous of Steve you guys! It was _adorable_ ,”

“HEY!” Kevin squeaked. “I was not!” His voice cracked a little as he crossed his arms.

“Aww, gosh that is adorable,” Connor reached over and ruffled Kevin’s hair a little. It was strange how open they were with their relationship. Perhaps it was because of how accepting most of the Elders were, or because the pair both felt as if it was a long time coming. Everything felt so natural to both of them. They were able to act on instincts with little fear or thinking, it was like a silent agreement.

Kevin’s cheeks turned pink. He had decided that Connor was the only one allowed to touch his hair. Not even Arnold had that privilege. “Maybe I was a little jealous…”

Arnold awed loudly at the couple which brought them both back to reality.

Connor clapped his hands together. “Well it is certainly getting late and I imagine you guys want some free time before lights out so I think it’s time to clean up. Pops, will you help me?”

“Uh actually, McKinley,” Zelder cut in as he quickly stood up. “I think I should clean up tonight,”

“Zelder- or Aaron that really isn’t necessary. It’s okay,”

“No, no, I insist,” he swallowed. “Please…”

Connor nodded. “Very well. Elder Michaels, is that okay with you?”

“I can do it myself,” Zelder interjected. “Seriously, it’s okay,”

Connor thought for a moment. It was almost law that everyone worked together. Jobs were shared between companions or groups. However, this was possibly Zelder’s way of working as a team. Connor didn’t believe in punishment at all. But the decision, he decided was not up to him. “Of course, if that’s what you wish,”

He smiled and began to gather the plates. “Yes, it is. Thank you, McKinley,”

“Please, it’s Connor,” he turned to face the missionaries. “You can all call me that. I think the formality of last names is quite silly, to be honest,”

After more settled and quite discussions as Elders finally exchanged names, Connor and Kevin made their way to the living room. They decided that to avoid kicking out their companions they’d sleep on the couch. It was almost like a love letter to previous nights, where they comforted each other and held each other tight, still not knowing the love they had for each other. Kevin brought out his bed covers and Connor took his pillows. Part of him worried about how uncomfortable it would be for them to sleep like this nearly every night, but it was far easier than mixing up the entire system they had. Besides, Arnold would miss Kevin some nights and Connor assumed Poptarts would miss him. That was of course until he watched as Elder Church- James, slip into their room. Maybe him and Kevin weren’t the only ones, he thought.

“There, that sort of resembles a bed,” Kevin crossed his arms, staring down at their makeshift bed.

“We’ve managed before,” Connor shrugged as he began to undress into his temple garments. Kevin soon did the same.

“And that was without pillows,”

“Besides…” He took Kevin’s hand in his own. “It’s got meaning, I guess,”

Kevin kissed his temple. “Yeah, I guess it does. Now come on, I want to cuddle,” He sat down on the couch, pulling his boyfriend with him. They both fell perfectly into place, both literally and figuratively. The redhead finally understood all those silly and cheesy lines that were in almost every book and movie. He had doubted them for the first 20 years of his life, but now he began to see the world through the eyes of lovers and artists. They fit together like a puzzle, their odds and ends contrasted and matched in equal amounts; they had what the other needed. They laughed at similar things and had the same fears, but also different hobbies and interests. Connor decided not to think about it too much and he still didn’t know where he stood but he knew they were a match made in heaven.

As the brunette pulled Connor on top of him so they were both lying down, he kissed Connor on his blushing cheek and brushed his red curls out of his face. “Connor McKinley,” he whispered. “You’re adorable,”

His heart was about to explode. “Oh Kevin, you’re incredible,” which enticed a bright but soft laugh from Kevin.

“God, please do _not_ quote me like that,”

“I wasn’t!” He wrapped his dedicate, freckled arms around Kevin and rested his head on his chest. Kevin’s hand instinctively went to Connor’s hair while the other settled on his hip. “Sing me a lullaby, please,”

“Alright, but just for you…”

In just one week Connor had gone from crying away his fears and loneliness to being snuggled up to his boyfriend as he sung sweeter than angels. He went from hardly knowing any of his fellow brothers to having a best friend, a temporary rival and a family.

_“Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter…”_

The dusty chalkboard caught his attention. It still had his quote written on it, but he noticed that a few more drawings had appeared. There were little drawings of rainbows, hearts, suns, stars and even a few random smiley faces. It finally seemed to be complete.

_“Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here,”_

It was as if the words coming from Kevin were hugging him. They were warm and gentle and like guardians who would protect him from the demons that lay in the back of his head. He knew that simply being Kevin’s boyfriend wouldn’t fix anything and they both had a lot to work through still, but he sure felt a lot better than he did before.

_“Here comes the sun,”_

Part of him never wanted to leave Uganda. That was ages away yet, but this place had grown on him a lot. If it weren’t for his mission he’d have never found that feeling of belonging he so desperately needed.

_“Here comes the sun, and I say,”_

If it wasn’t for his mission he had so reluctantly gone on he would have never met Kevin.

_“It's all right,”_

And it was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!!! Thank you guys all so much for reading this and the kudos thing and commenting... it means so much! Special thanks to Cat for helping me write this! I know guys, I ACTUALLY finished a fic

**Author's Note:**

> Hey wow Claire has started another fic! Will they finish it? Who Knows? I'd like to shout out Cat, @lesbianmezzo ( aka my amazing girlfriend ) whos been helping me write this! If you have any ideas or corrections please comment because lord knows i need the help!


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